In an Era of Peace: Running From The Past
by melissabann
Summary: After the First Bloody Valentine War, Dearka and Miriallia struggle to find new lives outside the military and move on from all they had been through. Little did they know that it would take each other to find what they truly needed.
1. Prologue: The Final Battle

**Prologue: The Final Battle**

He sat there alone in the cafeteria of the Archangel. His amethyst eyes staring off into nothingness. He was lost in thought from what had happened earlier...

 **Flashback**

He looked Yzak directly in the eyes as he spoke ignoring the gun pointing straight at him. Yzak was once one of his greatest allies and more than that he was his best friend. Now he wasn't sure what they were. Enemies?

"The FREEDOM's pilot is the same guy who use to pilot the STRIKE" Dearka explained. He could see the shock in Yzak's face as he continued to speak "And he's a coordinator too. He and Athrun they have been friends since they were just kids."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not as devoted to the cause as those two are, but I've seen some things…" His thoughts wandered to the the young natural girl as he remembered the day she tried to take his life out of pure grief and terror. "I watched them. And after I saw Alaska, Panama, and Orb, there's no way I can return to ZAFT if it means fighting like the military tells me to."

"Dearka STOP" he yelled

They continued to stare at one another in silence. Yzak's eyes filled with anger and betrayal, while Dearka showed resolve and also sorrow. Suddenly the ground beneath them began to shake causing both to lose their balance a bit.

"Yzak can you hear me? We're leaving" Rau Le Creuset informed Yzak over the communicator. Hearing this Dearka turned and headed for the BUSTER. Yazk regained his composure from the shaking grounded and aimed the gun back at his former ally.

"If you think leaving ZAFT makes me your enemy, then shoot me."

"You're being deceived!" Yzak replied in a pleading tone.

"I wonder which one of us is really being deceived." He said sadly looking over his shoulder. "There's nothing left to say. I'm going"

 **End of Flashback**

He had been so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice _she_ had walked in. She slowly walked across the room and sat in front of him. She could see the pain in his face. They sat in silence for a while before she finally spoke "I heard that Kira and Mu were pretty rattled from whatever happened in that abonned colony..." Dearka almost jumped hearing her words. He did expect her to speak let alone in such a concerned tone of voice. "I-I thought maybe someone should check on you too."

"I'm fine" he said quickly shooting a _don't go there_ look in her direction. He didn't understand why she was being like this. Normally she was cold and distant towards him. She never allowed him to even speak her name and yet here she was concerned for his well being. He stood up and began to walk away "If you're on a break from your duties you should get some rest. The next battle could begin and any moment" He said bluntly as he began to walk towards the exit.

"And you? When do you plan on resting." She questioned standing up to follow. "If you made a mistake out there because of exhaustion you could d-"

Dearka couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was the stress of being Yzak's enemy or the uncertainty of the battles to come. But the fact that _SHE_ of all people was being nice to him was too much. "And why the hell would you care?! You have wanted nothing more than for me to leave this ship ever since I arrived. So why would me dieing matter?" he snapped angrily before leaving the room.

His words cut Miriallia like a knife. Before she know what she was doing she chased after him. "Dearka wait!" she yelled grabbing his hand.

He stopped in his tracks feeling her hand in his. He started to feel something he had never felt before. It was like butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He had trouble breathing and his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. He could feel his face turning a bright crimson. He was at a loss for words.

Miriallia was equally shocked at the feelings enveloping her. She had been pushing him away since they had met. She didn't want this to happen. She didn't want to even befriend him never mind… what she was actually starting to feel for him. It was a war, dangerous and unpredictable. She never wanted to get close to anyone else after what happened to Tolle, especially a pilot.

They stood there holding each other's hands nervous and scared. "What exactly do you want from me?" he asked sadly without turning.

"I...I..." she tried to say something but the words just wouldn't come out. Before she could manage to get any words out the alarms began to sound throughout the ship. They both looked up towards the red flashing lights as the announcement rang out.

"Level 1 battle stations! REPEAT Level 1 Battle stations!"

They continued to hold each other hands as the alarm got louder. Finally Dearka squeezed her hand a bit tighter before letting go. He took off to get ready for the battle, never looking back. As he rounded the corner Miriallia whispered to herself "I can't lose anyone else that I love" this admission caused a single tear to roll down her face. She took a deep breath before turning around and heading for the bridge.

 **In the Hangar**

Dearka arrived in the hangar and was greeted by the STRIKE's latest pilot Mu La Flaga. They had become somewhat of partners on the battlefield. With the BUSTER only being good with long range combat it was important for him to always have a partner in battle to defend him if the enemy got too close. This was once the duty of Yzak in the DUEL but now that they were on opposite sides of the battlefield it this duty fell to Mu.

"Are you ready for this"

"As ready as anyone can be old man"

"Easy with the old man stuff kid." He said in a joking tone before getting serious "Listen I hope you didn't leave any unfinished business. There's no telling if any of us will making it out of this battle alive"

"Isn't that how it always is this is a war after all"

"This time we need to stop the nukes, GENESIS and still fight at the same time. One wrong move and thousands of live could be lost including your own."

"I don't know about you but I have no intentions of dying out there. And as for unfinished business..." his began to think about Miriallia. He knew she had wanted to tell him something. Something that may have even been important. But she wasn't ready to. "There is no one here that I need to tie anything up with. But I think you might" he said seeing the Captain in the distance.

"What do you mean?"

"You'll just have to wait and see" He said as he set off for the BUSTER.

 **On the Bridge**

Dearka didn't know what to say to the CIC. After the moment they had just spent together it was hard to ignore the increased tension between them. "So, they want us to stop the nukes and GENESIS while fighting at the same time!?"

"Then why don't you just give up?" Miriallia retorted with a serious and cold look on her face.

"Hey, I didn't mean-" before he could get all the words out she shut the communication between them down. He looked at the blank screen for a moment in shock before her face repeared"

"Just kidding. I'm sorry." she said, her face still serious. It softened a bit as she spoke again "Be careful out there."

He could hear the sincere concern in her voice, and rather than push her for more he simply replied "Thank you."

 **Later in the battle**

The intensity of the battle was like none they had ever experienced before. Pain, fear, anxiety and anger could be felt by all. The three ships alliance was fighting hard to reduce the amount of lives lost the best they could but it wasn't easy.

Dearka looked through the battlefield. He could see Yzak his former comrade being attacked but the DOMINION team. He took aim and fired to help his former teammate. "Dearka" Yzak said softly to himself. They continued to fight defending against all incoming assaults.

The STRIKE ROUGE was about to be attacked from behind by the FOrbIDDEN when suddenly another gundam appeared in between them saving her. Much to Cagalli's surprise it was the DUEL. Dearka fired off a shot towards the enemy mobile suit as Yzak launched forward finishing him off. Allow Cagalli to continue on heading towards Athrun leaving Dearka and Yzak to sort out where they stood with one another.

In the chaos of the battle Dearka had lost sight of his partner the STRIKE. His location was made clear when a bright light shot out from the DOMINION's ARCHANGEL. It was too late for the ship to evade, the ARCHANGEL would fall. Dearka felt knots in his stomach as thoughts of Miriallia raced through his head. He closed his eyes expecting the worst "No...I-I can't lose her" he whispered in a sad scared voice. He opened them just in time to see it. The STRIKE had moved in front of the blast saving the ARCHANGEL being destroyed in the process. He was shocked. Mu was gone. The ARCHANGEL fired in retaliation. Destroying the opposing legged ship.

" _I demand ZAFT cease fire on GENESIS immediately"_ Lacus announced to all on the battlefield. " _We've experienced the pain of sorrow of nuclear attacks and yet we are inflicting the same sorrow on them anything be made right if we fire it? If more innocent men, women and child keep losing their lives is this justice? Don't you realize what these attacks on each other are giving birth to? Do we want even more sacrifices? "_

The situation was getting critical. The ship was greatly damaged and the opposing sides didn't seem to be backing down. "In coming mobile suit" Miriallia cried out. Informing the ship's crew.

"Is that one of ours? I don't recognize it!" Yzak exclaimed. It approached quickly and took aim at the BUSTER.

"Why now of all times?" Dearka asked returning fire.

Unknown to both Yzak and Dearka the pilot was none other the Commander Rau Le Creuset. He began to fire again at Dearka when the FREEDOM suddenly appear to join the fight. Rau took of the fight Kira. this however didn't stop the all out assault on the BUSTER.

"WHAT the?!" Dearka cried out as he began getting attacked by guns that seemed to move on there damage they were causing was increasing fast and with no way to escape it seemed he would be killed soon.

As Miriallia watched on the ARCANGEL she gasped in horror. Dearka had been holding his own so well this whole battle barely getting any damage and now. Now he was about to be killed before her very eyes " _Please no… he can't"_ she thought and tears built up in the corners of her eyes. First Mu… and now… Dearka. This couldn't be happening.

"DEARKA!" Yzak yelled out as he watched his friend meeting what was certain doom.

"Dearka! Please respond! If you can you have to get out of there! DEARKA!" Miriallia cried out over the communicator in hopes that he would escape somehow.

"KIRA!" The voice of Fllay rang out across the battlefield causing Rau to turn his full attention on FREEDOM's pilot.

The BUSTER floated motionless in space. Dearka attempts to move or communicate with others failed. He could hear Miriallia's pleas for him to return but he couldn't do anything. Sparks flew inside as warning lights flashed throughout. He was a sitting duck. "DAMMIT!" he cried out.

Yzak moved in to check on his friend's condition. He was unsure at this point if Dearka was even alive or if his mobile suit had become his tomb. He was about to grab hold of the BUSTER when shot rang out in his direction. He turned to see where they were coming from. It was the RAIDER. The final surviving member of the DOMINION.

The DUEL grabbed onto the BUSTER to defend it as he began to return fire. "YZAK!" Dearka cried out knowing his friend couldn't hear him.

The RAIDER fired with such crazed speed that there was no weapon that the DUEL had that could stop it. "GIVE ME THAT WEAPON" he cried out taking the largest gun from the BUSTER.

"YZAK!"

"HE'S NOT BEATING ME!" He yelled firing the large cannon destroying the opposing mobile suit.

Dearka looked on. Relieved that his friend had saved him. He thought being on opposite sides of the battlefield would have caused a large rift. But maybe just maybe their friendship was stronger and greater than the war was. He took a deep breathe as he felt blood trickle down his face.

"Dearka? Can you hear me?" Yzak asked over the communicator to no avail. " _Is he really dead... or"_ He thought "DAMMIT!"

"Huh?" Miriallia exclaimed before speaking to the captain. "Captain the DUEL it requesting to bring the BUSTER back on board"

"What?" Murrue exclaimed before the DUEL pilot's face appeared on the screen.

"This isn't something I happy about having the request. But the truth is that it was my commander that attacked Dearka. If I bring him back to ZAFT there is no telling what they will do to him" Yzak face filled with sadness as he continued. "I tried communicating with him. But there was no response which means the function in the BUSTER is either down…or.." He hesitated for a moment. He had already thought Dearka had died once and it nearly tore him apart. To think of losing him again was too much.

Seeing him struggle Murrue responded "Bring him aboard we will have the medics meet you in the hanger to deal with any injuries he may have"

Yzak swallowed his pride and replied "Thank you" as he ended the communication and headed towards the landing gate.

Murrue picked up the phone on her arm rest "Mechanics, set up the emergency landing mat. The BUSTER and the DUEL will be making an emergency landing. Have the medics on standby" She hung up the phone and turned her focus back on the battle playing out in front of them.

Miriallia wanted nothing more than to be able to run and check on the pilot's condition. But she was needed here. At least she knew that he was safe now.

 **In the Hangar**

The BUSTER and the DUEL landed safely. Yzak quickly jumped out of his mobile suit and headed towards the BUSTER hoping his friend was ok. The mechanics and doctor followed as the all wait eagerly to see if he was ok.

"That's a lot of damage do you really think the kid is ok?" Chief Murdoch asked looking the BUSTER up and down.

"HOW DARE YO-" Yzak started to yell before he was interrupted by the sound of the BUSTER's cockpit opening.

Slowly the former ZAFT soldier pulled himself out of the mobile suit and made his way over the the men waiting for him "That was one hell of a battle. Thank you Yzak for having my back"

"You were right. You weren't the one being deceived. The Chairman needs to be stopped"

"Then we are in agreement." He said taking of his helmet to reveal the large amount of blood now streaming down the left side of his face. "You should get back out there BUSTER and I are in no condition to fight right now"

"And you what do plan on doing?"

"If you need me I'll be on the bridge. I can't sit ideally by why the biggest fight in the war rages on.

"Make sure you get check out first. We don't need you bleeding out on us." With that he turned around to get ready to go back out the. The doctor walked over and began cleaning up Dearka's wound.

 **Back on the Battlefield**

Things hadn't slowed down on the battlefield. Explosions continued throughout as they wondered if GENESIS would be fired again or if Athrun and Cagalli could stop it. Kira kept fighting with Rau after being devastated by the death of Fllay. The battle needed to end soon or there was no telling many thousands or even millions of lives could be lost.

Miriallia sat witnessing everything when a familiar face popped up on her screen. It was the same guy who requested to bring Dearka back on the ship. "You're heading out?" she asked.

"Of course there is still a fight going on out there right?!" He said in a nasty tone.

"Yes" she replied "DUEL you are cleared for launch"

"YZAK JOULE, DUEL LAUNCHING" he exclaimed as he launched back into the battle. At the same time the doors the the bridge flew open revealing a certain blonde haired young man. His head was wrapped in bandages and from the way he walked they could tell he had some bruised ribs. He watched his friend shoot off into battle as he made his way to Miriallia's side. They looked into each others eyes for a moment before turning their attention to the battle. No words were needed. They were just happy to see that one another was ok.

Yzak made his way in front of the ARCHANGEL showing them that he was going to defend them not fight against them. It came as much relief considering all their defending pilots were gone. They all watched as ZAFT soldiers began evacuating Jachin Due. They all questioned what could be happening there for this to be happening. Moments later their questions were answered as a large explosion came from that direction.

GENESIS exploded causing a bright light to englof the battlefield. The were all shocked. Dearka leaned close towards Miriallia to get a better view and also to support his hurt body. They all were wondering the same thing. How many lives were lost just now, and how many were those of their comrades. Where was Athrun… Cagalli… and Kira. Did they survive? Or did the explosion take their lives as well.

" _ATTENTION I have an announcement for all members of ZAFT and the EARTH ALLIANCE forces in this region. At this moment the PLANTs are preparing to conduct negotiations between the EARTH forces and the PLANT sponsored nations. Immediately following the commencement of these negotiations the PLANTs judicial supreme council will propose a requested that the EARTH forces decease all combat activities in restricted regions."_

The date was September 27, C.E. 71. It was a date that was about to go down in history. The day the fighting finally stopped. The day the final battle took place. It was all over. It was time to go home. Wherever that was. It was time for them to finally enter an Era of peace.


	2. Chapter I: Returning to Life

**Chapter I: Returning to Life**

It had been a few days since the final battle. The mechanics and anyone else able to help were working away to repair the ARCHANGEL so that they could all return to Orb. Dearka and Miriallia hadn't spoken since the battle had begun.

 **Flashback**

"We need to start repairs to the ship." The captain commanded before standing up and turning her attention to Dearka. She could see he was having trouble holding himself up he was not only injured but tired from the previous battles. He was in no condition to help right now. "Mr. Elsman I suggest you get some rest too."

"With all do respect Captain I would rather help get the ship up and running"

"I appreciate the sentiments, but all the surviving pilots are resting but you. I can't very well let you continue working especially with those injuries, however minor you may think they are."

He was about to argue when he saw the look of concern in Miriallia's eyes. He thought it best not to argue the point any further. "Okay fine. But once I get some sleep. I'll head to the hangar to help out" He didn't speak a word to Miriallia. Instead he turned to get some much needed sleep.

 **End of Flashback**

Dearka hadn't slept that well in weeks, maybe even months. He couldn't believe how much he was able to get done now that he was well rested. The repairs on the ship were coming along nicely. They worked in shifts allowing the ship to be worked on around the clock. Dearka finished typing on the computer he was working on wiping the sweat beading up on his forehead. Before finally speaking.

"I think that's it. The repairs aren't completed but according to these calculations it's enough. We should be able to make it to Orb in one piece. From there you guys can finish repair the ship if you deem it necessary."

"Hard to believe that we can actually make a choice in the matter" Murdock replied "It wasn't that long ago that two days to repair a ship could have meant life or death but now..."

"Do you really think it will last?"

Murdock looked at Dearka. He could see that it had been a question that was bothering him for a while "Too many people were sacrificed to make this happen. It's got to last."

"And if it doesn't"

"Then the ARCHANGEL will come out of retirement and knock some sense back into whoever took away the peace." Dearka chuckled at Murdoch's determination to keep the peace no matter what it was a noble thought but as long as hatred and misunderstandings between Coordinators and Naturals existed war was just one error away. "So you plan on returning with us to Orb?"

"Yes. I had thought of going back to the PLANTs. But with the Council in the shambles as it is I may not have a home to go back to. Besides I deflected remember. They may not pay to kindly to me wanting to go back. It's best I just ride this thing out in Orb. Maybe after the treaty is signed I'll be able to go back."

"So what do you plan to do in Orb."

"I want…" he found himself lost for words. Part of him wanted to be by Miriallia's side. The other part wanted him to forget about her. She was a natural and that was that. There could never be anything between them nor did he want anything… or maybe that was the problem. "I just want to be a normal teenager. I never really got to be one" he admitted.

"Sounds like a good plan. But if you need a job you can always work with us in morganrate. I'm sure they'll forgive you for stealing the BUSTER again considering you saved all our ass" He said as they both started to laugh.

 **On the Bridge**

The ship was ready. All those heading to Orb were on the ship. "Captain we are all set to make the descent" said the ship's pilot.

"Right. It looks like it's time" Murrue looked on last time out into the battlefield. Mu still clouding her mind. "Let's begin..."

The descent towards Earth went much more smoothly than last time. They were able to land about 30 mins off the shore of Orb. They could see the damage and devastation that Orb had been left in. It would take a long time. Lots of repairs were needed but they knew that Orb would rise again. When they landed in Morgarate's docks the Captain met the whole crew in the hangar to give them a final address.

"I'm grateful that I had all of you in the final battle to fight along side. It was with the help of all of you… and many other who were lost to us, that this war is coming to an end. It won't been easy going out into the world. Days and battles like the ones we were though are not easily shaken off. But it is time for you all to make a choice for yourself. A choice of where you will go in your own lives without the shackles of this ship." She turned to look at the two former ZAFT pilots "Athrun, Dearka. I want to thank you both. I know it wasn't easy turning your backs on your allies and even families. But if it wasn't for you two who knows where we would be."

"You're Welcome" They both said with smiles on their faces.

She then turned to Kira, Sai and Miriallia "I know you three have lost much. Your homes, your friends… your loves. But don't lose hope. Go back into the world. Put this war behind you and start a new life in this peaceful Era you all helped to create. If it wasn't for you kids… all of you kids" She said looking over all the teens gathered on her ship "this war may have never ended"

"Thank you for giving us the chance and believing in us." Kira replied.

The crew prepared to disembark changing into their civilian clothing. As they waited for the doors to open, Dearka looked over and couldn't help but blush. He quickly tried to hide it to no avail. In front of him stood a vision of beauty. He was so use to seeing Miriallia in the same EAF uniform that to see her in that orange dress was a sight to see. It no longer seem to fit her the same as it use to. It had become slightly loose on her. The stress and grief had gotten to her causing a bit of weight loss. But still she was beautiful. Dearka shook his head and looked away. She was still a natural. She was forbidden to him. He needed to let go of whatever it was he was starting to feel for her.

Miriallia could feel him staring at her but she didn't care. She couldn't think about him not now. When those doors opened she would be reunited with her parents. She would be going home. For the first time in a long time she realized what that really meant. She would be going home to a place without him. To a place he used to alway be with her. Orb had been his home too. It was where his family should have been waiting for him but instead he was gone. The truth was she never thought about what this would be like, going home without him. She feared the pity and sadness they would feel for her. And she feared the feelings she had pushed down would explode out of her.

Dearka could see she was in pain. He was about to say something when the doors opened and she walked away. He saw her walk and then starting running. An older gentleman and woman embracing her tightly. " _They must be her family"_ he thought. He stood in the hangar as everyone else left greeting their families. No one would be waiting for him so he stayed back a while longer.

He walked over looking up at the BUSTER. It was over and everyone was home but him. Not that he could ever go there. Not now. "Aren't you leaving?" asked a voice from behind him. Startled Dearka turn.

"Ah Chief. I was just taking one last look. Still hard to believe it's over"

"You know I've been thinking of what Mu said to you before the last battle."

"You heard that did you?"

"Don't leave anything unfinished."

He looked at Murdoch confused. He didn't know what to say "wha-"

"Don't let her walk out of your life forever with clearing the air." He said patting him on the back before walking away "go to her before it's too late."

Dearka was mad at those words. He wanted to forgot Miriallia and the best way to do that was to leave her alone. But then thoughts of all their many encounters flooded his mind. Murdoch was right he couldn't just let her leave. He began walking off the hangar and soon he found himself running, running past the rest of the crew… running to her.

He made his way outside just in time. She was about to get in the car when he cried out "Miriallia!" He stopped in his tracks. It was the first time he had ever said her name out loud. She never allowed him to.

"Dearka?" She said softly. Her parents both giving her a look of _who is this guy?_

Seeing she had stopped he began to walk towards her. Finally he reached the car. He scartched the back of his head nervously "I'm sorry"

"Huh?"

"For how I acted when we first met" in Dearka's mind she hated him. And it was in hope of giving them both closure that he felt he needed to apologize. "I had never met a natural before. I was always taught that they were evil and wanted us all dead. But you're... You're not like that. I'm sorry I misjudged you and sorry for everything I said to you."

Miriallia studied his face for a moment. She could see the regret of his face, he was being sincere. "You don't need to apologize I'm the one who sh-"

"No... I deserved it." He said before walking away towards the building. Leaving Miriallia to watch him exit her life. As she watched his retreating body she couldn't help but think about what an irritant he had been. He was arrogant, and a jerk… but then again, he apologized to her. So maybe he wasn't that bad after all. Maybe that is why she had started to get feelings for him. She turned towards her parents giving them a faint smile before getting in the car and driving off into the sunset.

 **The Haww's Home**

Miriallia walked into her childhood home. It had been so long since she had stepped foot in there but it still looked the same. Before she was involved with the war she had been at boarding school in Heliopolis. They had only been attending the school there for a few months for all hell had broke loose.

"Is there anything we can get you?" Her mother asked in a very concerned tone.

"No. I just would like to take a hot shower and get some sleep."

"I thought you might say that. I've already put a clean towel and PJs in the bathroom. I love you" She said kiss her daughter on the forehead.

"I love you too mom"

After her shower she walked towards the door of her bedroom. She reached for the doorknob hesitating for a moment before opening it. What once was a room filled with the happy memories of a girl and her boyfriend seemed to be more of a shrine. Picture of her a Tolle were plastered all over her bulletin board. One picture in particular stood out. It wasn't on the board like the others. Instead it stood alone on her desk in a frame. It was the last picture ever taken of them.

Back when they were living in Heliopolis Miriallia would send updates to her parents to let them know how she was doing. Sometimes she would even send pictures. This picture was from one of those updates. The last update she ever sent. It was taken a few hours before the colony fell. They were so happy then. She picked up the picture as her tears began to fall down onto it. She walked over sitting on the floor by her bed. She placed the photo on the coffee table in front of her before baring her face in her knees to cry.

She had tried to hold all those feelings in. She didn't want to be weak. But being here back in her home filled with the memories of what once was, she couldn't help but cry. As visions of Tolle flooded her mind another boy popped up. The tanned skinned blonde man who protected her. It finally occurred to her. Not only would she never see Tolle again, Dearka was lost to her now too. She continued to cry until she couldn't anymore. She was all out of tears and knew it was time to move on from all of it.

A few days past and she was ready to start working towards a fresh start. Miriallia started to pull out tacs from her bulletin board removing picture after picture. She was packing away all the photos and things that reminded her of Tolle. She needed to move on and part of that was not only accepting that he was gone but let those things go. Someday she hoped she would be strong enough to look through the box again but not now. She picked up the framed picture of them and was about to put it away when a voice stopped her.

"You should keep at least one out" her mother said kindly "I know it hurts but sometimes we need to experience the hurt to truly move on."

"What if it hurts too much?"

"Then draw on someone else's strength to get you through it." Miriallia's mind wandered to Dearka. Throughout the war her focus seemed to always be on him and her frustrations with him. Then again maybe she was drawing on his strength back then. Maybe he was the reason she had made it through the war. Her mother could see she was lost in thought and decided to speak again. "Listen you've been home for a couple of days now. Have you thought about what you planning on doing next? I don't want to pressure you or anything but what about school? Or maybe a job?"

Miriallia looked down at the box of photos. So many memories filled it. "I think I know just the thing..."

 **THREE WEEKS LATER**

Dearka had been working for morganrate ever since the war ended. He had hoped that being separated from Miriallia would take her out of his mind. It didn't help. No matter what he did he couldn't get that natural out of his mind. He wanted to move on and forget her. He was ashamed of his feelings for her. No good could ever come out of these feelings.

"So this is really your last day kid?"

"Yeah Doch… It's time I moved on from here" he said confidently.

"So you're going home to the PLANTs"

"No. Not yet. There are still to many negotiations going on that my status is still up in the air. No telling what kind of crap I could get myself into if I went back now" he shuddered at the thought. He missed his mother and Yzak and wished more than anything that he could return but now was not the time.

"So if not the PLANTs where? Why not just stay here?"

"It's like the Captain said we need to find our own lives outside of the war. Staying behind working at morganrate has been great but it's time I try something new. I'm… I'm going to travel the world. I know it sounds crazy but It's something I've got to do"

"I thought you just wanted to be a normal teenager"

"Turns out that's not so easy. It's hard to go back to those days. After all we have been through, all the pain and the suffering. Maybe it's that I don't think I deserve that life."

"Are you going to tell her you're leaving"

"Wh-"

"Don't give me that you know exactly who I'm talking about" Murdoch wasn't dumb. He could see that Dearka had fallen for the young natural. He also knew that Dearka wasn't going on an adventure around the world he was just running away.

"There's nothing to tell. We said our goodbyes and now I'm living my own life."

"Still, she deserves to know" Dearka wasn't sure if Murdoch was right or not about this. Either way he had no plans on intentionally seeking Miriallia out.

"If I see her before I leave then I'll tell her." He said knowing full well he wouldn't run into her.

After work Dearka decided to take a walk around a nearby park. He wanted to take one last look at the sights before leaving Orb for good. He walked down the trails and listen to the happy laughs of the people. He couldn't help but think of how close they all were to being killed. War was a terrible thing and it had taken so many lives. As he walked something or rather someone caught his eye. He couldn't see her face but the hair and figure were undeniable.

"Miriallia" he whispered. He was about to walked away when he remembered his promise to Murdoch. Dearka was many things but he wasn't the type to take promises lightly. Slowly he walked up to her. Miriallia was so lost in her book that she didn't notice him approach her. "Photography?" He asked. His voice startled her. But she didn't look up from her book.

Recognizing the voice as a friend she replied "I've been taking a class. I'm thinking of making a career out of it"

"I'm glad..."

"Huh?"

"I'm glad you're moving on with your life, it's not always easy"

"And you you're still in Orb" she said keeping her book in front of her face so he wouldn't see the happy look on her face. She was glad he was still here. Even though they hadn't spent anytime together knowing he was around made things easier.

"Till tomorrow"

"Huh? You're going home?" her happy face turning to sad.

"Not exactly. I'm going to travel the world for a while"

"So you're running away?" she said finally shutting her book to look at him. It had been so long since she had seen him. But he still looked the same. The wind blew brushing his hair off to the side to reveal two scars. One from the final battle and the other from the day she tried to take his life. He fixed his hair and replied.

"What makes you think I'm running away"

"You say you're going to travel the world, but what are you looking for if not an escape. Believe me I understand wanting to escape. Having the feeling of everything closing in around you." Dearka could hear the pain in her words "But you can't run away. Maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but someday whatever you are running away from will catch up to you"

She was right to think he was running away just like Murdoch thought. But the truth was he was running away from her and the feelings he had for her. "Ok let's say I'm running away from something, why do you think it will catch up with me."

"Because it always does in the end. I tried to run away from my feelings of Tolle dying." she said bluntly "After what I had done to you I decided to push the feelings down so I could continue fighting. It worked for a long time but eventually they caught up with me. The first night back home, in my old bedroom it all hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the first time I truly realized he was gone for good. I knew he was gone but in some ways I was seeing him as two different people" she said honestly "There was the boy I grew up with and loved and the soldier who foolishly went out into a battle he couldn't possibly win. I grieved the soldier but couldn't bring myself to let go of my love. But eventually I had to deal with the pain"

He looked at her, he could tell she was still dealing with all this. Dealing with the pain of love lost. "I'm sorry for what happen with you but in all honesty it's best that I go." even if by some miracle she felt the same way about him it could never be. Nothing could ever change the fact that they were from two different worlds. He was a coordinator and she was a natural. No one in the Universe outside the three ships alliance would ever allow this relationship to happen. "Besides if I was running away it would be from something that will never leave Orb."

"Then you're safe to run the I guess." she replied picking her book back up. "If what you're running away from is really that bad, then maybe you should go"

Dearka stared at her for a moment wondering if she knew. If she knew she was the one he was running from. "I need to go finish some last minute packing. It was nice seeing you again" he turned to leave taking one last look at the beautiful young woman before he left. "Goodbye Miss Haww". She was surprised he didn't use her name. Ignoring this she replied.

"Goodbye BUSTER" she said behind her book. She heard his retreating footsteps. She waited a few minutes till she knew he was out of range. She set down her book revealing the tears streaming down her face. She was surprise at how much it hurt knowing he was walking away. She had convinced herself that the love she had felt for him before the final battle was just because of the chaos of war. But now in these peaceful times she wasn't sure anymore.

She wanted to go after him. She want to tell him not to go. However the truth was she couldn't stop him. She was still trying to let her feelings for Tolle go. The last thing she needed was getting someone else mixed up in it. She knew the moment he said he was leaving she would never see him again and maybe that is why it hurt so much. It was like he was dying and yet at the same time she knew he was going to be alive and well.

Confused and sad she gathered her things and headed towards the area where Orb had fought OMNI. Plans for reconstruction were underway. Although it would be months until those plans were put into action Miriallia didn't want to miss the opportunity to get some pictures. It would hopefully make a great portfolio piece featuring something from her past.

She looked back at the park. Visions of both Tolle and Dearka appeared in her mind. Closing her eyes she whispered "It's time I let both of you go and move on..."


	3. Chapter II: An Opportunity of a Lifetime

**Chapter II: An Opportunity of a Lifetime**

It had been four months since the war had ended and almost three since anyone had heard from Dearka Elsman. It was like he was a ghost. There had been no reports of him being sited anywheres. It was what he wanted though. He needed to escape not only his feelings for Miriallia but also the obligations that awaited him if he ever returned to the PLANTs.

Miriallia used to from time to time ask if anyone had heard from him. But after being told _no_ so many times she gave up and moved on. She had finally moved on from it all, Tolle, the war and even _him_. It was all behind her and she was now looking towards the future. She had finished her photography course which much to her surprise she excelled in. Her instructor told her that a good photographer captures the emotion of the scene but a great photographer makes you feel those emotions. According to him she was one of the greats.

An amazing photography job had become available. It was in a far off country but it was an opportunity of a lifetime. Her instructor greatly urged her to apply telling her that her picture of the destruction in Orb would be the perfect pieces to submit.

 **Flashback**

"Sir are you sure that I'm ready for a job like this? Shouldn't I work as an apprentice first or something?"

"Miriallia you have two choices in life. You can either play it safe and miss the great opportunities that come your way or..."

"Or what?"

"Or you can grab life by the balls and tell it how you want to live. You can't always play life safe. You were a soldier once. That life couldn't have been easy. You had no training and yet here you are. You survived so what makes you think you can't do this?"

"That was different I had other soldiers to teach me what to do"

"But you have already learned all I or anyone can teach you. The rest will come as you experience life. That is how a photojournalist really develops their skills, by simply living what they are capturing. I can't think of anyone better for this job"

Miriallia looked at him. She couldn't understand why he believed in her so much. She had doubts about it but she knew he was right. And she needed this. Her parents still looked at her like a puppy that had been kicked one too many times. She was tired of the pity. She was tired of living in the shadow of who she once was. She was ready to really get her after war life started. "Where do I have to fly for the interview?"

"I thought you would never ask" He said with a big smile. "You'll be flying to Paris. There is a magazine there very interested in hiring a photographer that's a former soldier, and one as talented as you makes it even better."

"I hope you didn't brag me up too much. I wouldn't want the image you created to get in my way."

"Don't worry I know you got this" he said giving her a thumbs up.

 **End of Flashback**

Miriallia went home that day and packed her bags. She didn't tell her parents she was leaving. She was afraid if they tried to talk her out of it she would have listened. She needed this and more than anything she wanted this. Since her first photography classes she knew that this was what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She wanted to preserve the memories of the world whether they be good ones or bad.

When the plane landed she checked into the hotel. She quickly changed into a modest light blue sundress and headed off to her interview.

"Hi! I'm Miriallia Haww. I'm the photographer from Orb here for an interview with the special projects division." The receptionist looked her up and down with a confused look on her face.

"Are you sure honey? Didn't they tell you what this project involves?" She questioned "I think it might be smart you hit the pavement now before they laugh you out of the room"

"With all due respect madam I came a long way for this interview and I have no intentions of leaving empty handed." She said firmly

"Fine if you insist. Go down that hall. It's room 642" She said pointing down the right corridor.

"Thank you."

Miriallia walked down the hall and entered the room. Inside was 4 or 5 other photographers. All of them were extremely tough looking men who looked at her like she was a piece of meat. Miriallia sat down away from all of them as she waited for the interview to start. After about 20 minutes a man walked in the room. He looked around the room counting the bodies to make sure they were all there before speaking.

"Good now that you are all here we can begin. My name is Frederic Bedeau" He stated as he began to give them all a good look over before stopping and staring at Miriallia "I'm sorry little girl I think you might have the wrong room. The writing interns are suppose to met of floor 5 not 6 in room 542. I can see your confusion." The other men in the room began to roar with laughter. It boomed and echoed throughout the room.

She stood up in anger "What the hell is everyone's problem!?" They all looked at her in shock as the room became silent. "My name is Miriallia Haww. I was referred to this job by my teacher Mr. Tomo. According to him you were _very_ eager to met me. Or was that a lie" she said half disgusted with how she was being treated.

Frederic continued to look at the young girl. She couldn't be any older than 16 he thought. But there was something in her eyes. He could see she had lived through things no one her age ever should have. "I'm sorry miss. Yes we were informed of you. I just never imaged that you would be so young after hearing the stories of your adventures."

"You can live through tragedies at any age Sir"

"True. But I'm sorry but your teacher should have known we can't possible hire someone so young for a job this dangerous"

"It can't possible be more dangerous than what I've already been through I stared death in the face more times than I care to remember. I witnessed first hand the final battle of the war where both GENESIS and nuclear warfare plagued the battlefield. Not only am I experience with the dangers of a battlefield but I'm also a talented photographer. You can hire one of these men if you like but truth be told you'll be missing out on a great opportunity. One that will only come around once in your lifetime."

 _*Claps* *Claps*_

Both Frederic and Miriallia turned to see a new gentleman had entered the room. "Mr. Richard! I didn't know you were going to be making an appearance today. I thought you were only going to meet with the final photographer"

"That was the plan." He looked over at Miriallia and smiled "Your instructor told me you were a little spit fire but his description did not do you justice" he looked over to the other men in the room "You may all go you services will not be needed"

"But SIR she is just a little girl"

"Frederic! She is not some helpless little girl. She is a war veteran and is is about time you start treating her with the respect someone of her stature commands!" As the other men left the room he turned his attention to Miriallia. "If you want it the job it's yours. But before you accept it's only right that you know the full details of the assignment. Follow me to my office we can talk there" she nodded and began to follow. "Frederic can you inform our other new hire to come to my office as well. I'd rather not have to explain twice."

Miriallia followed Mr. Richard to his office. He took a seat in his large luxurious chair and motioned for her to sit across from him, her back to the door. "How much did you teacher tell you of this assignment"

"He told me it was going to be a huge undertaking. Possibly dangerous but in the end rewarding."

"Do you have any idea of what it is we wish you to photograph?"

"Judging by what he had me submit for a portfolio entry I can only assume that you want me to go to old battlefields"

"Are you prepared to do something like that? There is a great possibility that we will be asking you to go to battlefields that you yourself fought at. Will you be able to put your feelings aside and take the necessary photos?"

"Before I answer that, can you tell me something. What exactly do you want these photos for?"

She was both suspicious and curious. What good could come out of this? "It will take time but we want to publish a book featuring all the great battlefields on Earth from this past war. As a reminder of the devastation. So no one will forget"

Miriallia looked him in the eyes. She could tell he was speaking the truth. She smiled back at him "Then… I'm the photographer for the job!"

"Excellent you won't regret this!" He said standing up to shake her hand. She stood up to met his hand shaking it firmly to show she was not some weak little girl. Not anymore at least "Ah there you are Derrick!" He said looking towards the the door "Miriallia Haww I would like you to met Derrick Eastman. He will be your bodyguard during your assignment. He is a former EAF soldier like yourself, he fought defending the desert during the war."

Miriallia turned to look at the young man. The young man she would be spending every night and day with for the foreseeable future. When their eyes met she could see shock written all over his face. But of course she couldn't blame him. In fact she was almost positive it was the same look plastered across her face. In front of her stood a tall tanned young man around the age of 17-18. He had blonde wavy locks and the most emotion filled amethyst eyes. This wasn't Derrick Eastman no this was someone else entirely. " _Dearka Elsman?"_ She thought to herself.

Dearka finally broke out of his trance to put his hand forward. "Derrick Eastman nice to met you." Miriallia was shocked that he would continue with the rouse that wasn't fooling her. Deciding to go along with it she reached out and shook his hand. She could feel butterflies envelope her stomach. She had longed for his touch, a touch she never thought she would feel again.

"Like wise" She replied.

"So you're the photographer they hired. I was almost expecting and arrogant old man" he joked.

"No, you'll have to deal with an opinionated young woman instead" she joked back.

"Glad to see you are both getting along already why don't you both have a seat and we can get started." They both sat down and he hand them a list. "These are the coordinates of the battlefields we would like you to take photos of. The one with stars next to them are the ones you need to hit first. They have reconstruction projects already plan for them and if you are going to get any images you need to get them ASAP." He could see them both looking over the list with sorrow in their eyes. They never knew there were some many major ones. To see it listed out was hard to take. "Is there anything wrong"

Dearka looked over at Mirallia. He knew what she was thinking. She couldn't just read coordinates and know where the place was. She felt terrified thinking what if they had to go there? To the sight when the skygrasper fell? Could she handle it? "No there's nothing wrong. _Everything_ on this list is acceptable." Dearka made sure to emphasis that so that Miriallia knew she wouldn't have to go back there.

"Great. This project will not be without it's challenges. It will take you up to a year to complete. You will not be able to see your families or friends. Hotels may even be a luxury in some cases. You'll be camping out in the wilderness sometimes even close to the battlefields themselves. With the only company being each other. Do you still wish to undertake this"

Miriallia and Dearka looked at each other. Dearka still couldn't believe she was right.

 **Flashback**

"You say you're going to travel the world, but what are you looking for if not an escape. Believe me I understand wanting to escape. Having the feeling of everything closing in around you." Dearka could hear the pain in her words "But you can't run away. Maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but someday whatever you are running away from with catch up to you"

 **End of Flashback**

He never thought here of all places he would run into her. Not only that but be stuck alone with her for up to a year. "YES SIR" They both replied in unison.

"Then it looks like we have some paperwork to fill out" he said passover some files.

They finished filling out the large amount of paperwork. After that they started planning out the order of their destinations with the help of Frederic. The planning took a few hours but in the long run they knew it would be worth it. Once finished Miriallia and ' _Derrick_ ' decided to headed off to their hotels. They walked out of the magazine's office building and before they went their separate ways Dearka decided to ask the question he had been dying to ask since he saw her in the office.

"Are you crazy?" He asked obviously trying to suppress his anger "Are naturals really this stupid or is it just you?"

"What is your problem?" she snapped back.

"I thought you becoming a photographer meant you were going to be staying out of danger. Instead you seem to be diving right into it"

"If you had such a problem with it why didn't you say anything in there Dearka or Derrick or whatever you are going by now. What is with the name change anyways? And why do they seem to think you're a natural?"

"If I said anything then they would know that we knew each other, and that would have ruined everything. From now on in public call me Derrick. That is my name to everyone."

"Why?"

"Because that is the best way to disappear. Dearka Elsman is a wanted war criminal in the PLANTs. I wanted a chance to be free for a while before turning myself in. There no better way to do that then to pretend you're something you're not."

"Listen I didn't expect to ever see you again, and I certainly didn't expect to be travelling around the world with you. But can we at least make the best of this? For the next year it is just you and me."

"Fine. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm your bodyguard which means I'll protect you. That is it. Don't expect anything more to come of this."

"Ditto" She replied.

"So I'll meet you tomorrow morning at the military base."

"Right Mr. Eastman. I'll see you there" She waved goodbye and they headed their separate ways. She knew this journey was going to be a crazy adventure. She didn't know yet if Dearka being with her was good or bad. But she knew life was never going to be the same.

Dearka arrived back at his tiny hotel room a few minutes later. It was so much smaller than anything he was use to growing up. His family was very wealthy which meant he wanted for nothing. Anything he could ever dream of he could have. His hotel rooms were never small one bed. They were large luxurious suites on the top floors. But… he didn't want that life anymore. After everything he experienced during and after the war he wanted something more simple. A tiny hotel room was perfect.

He opened the door to his room. He was lost in thought. He was still fuming that Miriallia was the photographer he would need to protect. " _What the hell is this girl thinking? Is she really trying to get herself killed… I guess there really is no escaping her"_ he thought to himself. Slowly he walked in sliding his bag off his shoulder and onto the floor. It had been a long exhausting day. His interview was tough. He had to prove he was the best out of the seven men there all while trying to maintain the rouse that he was a natural. As it turned out it was a lot harder than he thought. Pretending he was something he was no was extremely difficult. " _At least with Miriallia I can just be me"_

He started to notice how really beat he was when he finally realized he wasn't the only one in the room. There standing by the window was a young man. Not just any man but one with icy blue eyes and silver hair. "About time you got here. I was getting sick of being in this shit hole" the man snapped.

"Y-Yzak… what are you doing here?"

"I've come to bring you back to the PLANTs you moron! What did you think? Did you really believe I was just going to let you roam around Earth for the rest of your life? You are still my friend you know."

"I'm not going back to the PLANTs. I have a job now that I have no intentions of leaving until my contact is done" He said as he threw his keys on the table by the entry.

"You're Dearka Elsman. You don't need a job. All you need is a passtime. Like become a soldier again" He replied.

"I'm a wanted war criminal remember. I deserted ZAFT. Are you really that insane to think that I would ever be let back in"

"There was a commander in ZAFT who fought hard not only to have your desertion expunged from your record but to have you as their first lieutenant. You'll have to wear a green uniform but you'll still be a respected soldier."

"And what idiot commander would have fought for me?" He asked in confusion.

"Me" He replied proudly smirking.

"Y-you! You're a commander now?" he said in shock before regaining enough composure to be serious. "Even so… That doesn't change things. I'm not going back to ZAFT. I have something here that I need to do."

"She a natural" He said in a serious tone.

"She's… Just a co-worker, a girl I've be assigned to protect while she on assignment."

"She's that same girl from the ARCHANGEL. That CIC"

"I didn't have any clue she would be the one. I thought it would be some guy. I left Orb to get away from her. But she is here now. We both signed contracts, and I promised her I would protect her"

"You mean Derrick Eastman did. You signed it as him. You made the promise as him. Look at this piece of shit place you're staying in. Is this really what you want? The life of this 'natural' persona you've created"

"I don't expect you to understand. I know you never will. But this is what I want."

Yzak walk up to his former comrade and pulled out a piece of paper. "Here take this" he said sadly.

Dearka reached out his hand and took it. "What is it?"

"A voucher for a ticket to the PLANTs. There is no date it needs to be used by. Take your year if that is what you need. But I know that someday you'll use that. And when you do the position will be waiting for you"

"You may be waiting the rest of your life"

"Someday Dearka we will fight alongside one another. I promise you that" He said before walking out the door. Dearka looked down at the voucher. He was about to rip it up when he hesitated. This was to go to the PLANTs… not back to ZAFT. Someday if he did chose to use it it never meant he needed to be a military dog again. He decided instead to throw it next to his keys. Maybe someday he would use it.


	4. Chapter III: The Start of an Adventure

**Chapter III: The Start of an Adventure**

It had been a long night for Miriallia. She was both excited and nervous for what lied ahead. She knew this was going to be an adventure of a lifetime. It would be dangerous but every bit worth it. Then there was Dearka. She couldn't quite peg where she stood with the young coordinator. At some points he seemed cold, distant and even angry towards her. But other times… he seemed almost sweet. She began to wonder which Dearka would she be travelling with. The guy who yelled at her yesterday or the guy who apologized for everything he ever put her through when the war ended.

She walked onto the military base and was greeted by Frederic. "Ah Miss Haww! Glad you could finally make it."

"Am I late?" She asked worried.

"No not at all you're right on time." He wave his hand towards himself notifying her to follow him. "Derrick arrived about an hour ago. He been preparing for the trip and doing some last minute training at with some of the soldiers."

"Training?" She asked.

"Yes. He wanted to make sure he was ready."

Mir looked across the room. She could see Dearka sparing with an EAF soldier. She felt butterflies watching him move, it made her feel special knowing he was training to better defend her. To protect her. She couldn't help but blush thinking about this. "Dea-rick" She yelled stumbling to get his alias correct. He looked over towards her narrowly dodging a punch from his sparring partner. He excused himself from the young soldier and walked over towards her. "Uhh… I'm sorry about that… I didn't mean to distract you." she said as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"No… it ok. It's good to have distractions while training. In a real fight you never know what can happen" He replied kindly as he scratched the back of his head nervously. He smiled a small smile towards her, and she did the same. They kept staring at each other until Frederic cleared his throat to pull them out of their daze.

"There is a few things we need to discuss before the two off you leave." He said. They both nodded to let him know they were listening. "The first thing is that I need to inform you that although L'Aventure et Vie Magazine understands that we cannot prevent a relationship from forming between the two of you, we cannot approve of it. You're both still minors after all despite your military records. But we know we will not be able to stop it should it happen. That is why we would like you both to try and keep yourself from… indulging in certain activities." He said trying not to be too obvious about what he was trying to say. "I know you too are just teenagers and your hormones are going haywire b-"

"Listen" Dearka interrupted. "We get it. We may be young but that doesn't mean we aren't professionals. And trust me I can keep myself completely under control in that department. I'm no stranger to the 'activities' you want us to avoid and trust me the only time I plan on touching her body is if I'm protecting it. I'm her bodyguard, that's it. It's what my contract says, and I intend to follow that. Besides judging by the look of her I'm sure Miss Haww has no experience in that area. And I highly doubt she has any intentions to give it up in a tent in the woods with a guy she just met."

Miriallia didn't know whether to be offended by his speech or glad he shut up Frederic. She started to wonder what Dearka's true feelings were towards her. Was she just the girl who used to bring him food in his cell? Or was she something more? "Sorry Mr Eastman. I didn't mean to question your professionalism. It is just something I am required to inform you of. I have the utmost faith that the relationship between the two of you will remain as is."

"Thank you" Dearka replied.

"Now for more pleasent business" He said in a chipper voice. "In the next few weeks Miriallia we will require you to submit a small bio on yourself as well as a self portrait. The picture doesn't need to be taken by you, only of you. As for your bio you can talk about your military involvement in vage details. It's best you don't mention your military affiliations. We don't want the wrong person to read it and see you as someone they should do harm to"

"Sir?" Miriallia said confused.

"The ARCHANGEL was responsible for the war ending. That is a great thing. However not everyone is happy with how it all ended. Radicals on both sides still exist. Take the PLANTs for example. We just finished a story on the radicals who were within the council itself. It's been months since the war ended and they are still going through trials. The latest trial was that of Tad Elsman"

"Elsman?" Miriallia said quickly.

"Do you know him?" Frederic asked curious.

"No… but did he have any children?" Miriallia asked. She didn't know anything about Dearka's family. She was always curious why Dearka had chosen to travel the World instead of going back to them. Maybe this was her chance, after all he could stop her. He was Derrick Eastman now, it would seem odd if he stopped her. Although that didn't stop him from shooting darts at her with his eyes.

"Yes a son. Why?"

"Just curious I guess. I find it interesting to learn about the PLANTs and the people there" She lied. "Do you know anything about the son?"

"Yes. He was a ZAFT soldier. Story goes they had an explosive fight when his son decided to join the military. No one is fully sure what the fight entailed since it happened behind closed doors. All that is publicly known is his father didn't support the idea of him joining. Some speculated it was because the young man was leaving school to do so. Others believed it was because Tad didn't want his son to die in the battlefield. After his son graduated from the academy with top honors he and his father continued to have issues. It is said they never spoke again"

"What ever happened to his son?"

"He was killed… by the ARCHANGEL actually. A gruesome battle someone in the Pacific Ocean between Orb and Alaska." Frederic said sadly. "I'm not sure what he was piloting at the time, those details are unknown"

"What happened to Tad in the trial?" Dearka asked surprising Miriallia.

"He was deemed innocent of all crimes he was accused of and freed. Turned out although he is not a fan of naturals his was not a true radical. When Patrick Zala took control of the council all Clyne supporters were rounded up, many of them killed. Tad Elsman's wife was a mess after the passing of his son. The loss of a child for some is a lot to bare. He feared that if he stood against Zala he would face the same fate as Siegel Clyne himself. So for the protection of himself and his wife he followed the Chairman." Frederic explained.

"Sounds like he was a coward who chose to back down instead of fighting for what he believed in." Dearka scoffed.

"Derrick!" Miriallia said angry. "Obviously the man did what he had to to protect what family he thought he had left. He was hurting just as much as his wife I'm sure. He lost his son, he probably didn't have the will to fight."

"Don't pretend you know someone from a story a reporter from a distant land tell you" He snapped back. "There details of the guys life you'll never know from some article."

Frederic cleared his throat once again to get their attention. "My point is radicals still exist. And not just in the PLANTs either. Which is why you need to keep your time on the ARCHANGEL out of the lime light"

"What does my association with them even matter"

"Because for example let's say Tad Elsman wanted revenge on one of those responsible for his son's death. If we have it in writing you are one of them and provide them with a picture of you, it could quickly become dangerous. You don't want to make enemy out of an Elsman, they are very rich and powerful family. And they are just one of the many that could come after you"

"I… I guess you're right." It was strange to hear from someone else about Dearka's life. It made her sad to think that his parents may still think he was dead. Maybe Dearka was running away from more than just what he was back in Orb. Maybe he had been running for longer than she had been running from her grief.

"Then I guess it's time. Follow me and I will show you your mode of transportation" He said as he started to walk towards the hanger. "You said you've piloted before correct Mr Eastman."

"Yes. Although I mostly fought in hand to hand combat" He lied.

"Do you think you'll be able to handle flying that?" He asked as he pointed to the machine only about 10-15 feet from them.

Dearka looked ahead of him. Seeing the fighter jet he replied with confidence. "Yeah, I think I can handle that. How about you Miriallia? Do you think this will do?" Dearka asked looking over towards her. He felt instantly worried about her. She looked to be in shock. Her face was pale, almost like a ghost. She seemed to be having trouble breathing. Her bottom lip was even quivering slightly. He looked back at the plane they were to fly. It was then he realized why she was in such distress. It was a skygrasper, a blue and white one. Although this was a modified two passenger one it didn't matter. In her mind it was still the same. "Frederic, is it okay if we have a moment alone? We need to check the plane over to make sure it is adequate."

"Take all the time you need" He said.

"Thank you" Frederic nodded and left the room. Dearka looked back to Miriallia. She was still staring up at the fighter jet.

"Why does this stupid thing affect me so much?" She asked finally after staying silent for a few minutes. "I moved on from him. I have. So why does it hurt so much"

"Because it is impossible to move on completely from someone when they die" He replied. She looked up at him confused. "He was a huge part of your life. He was your boyfriend, your first I'm guessing. If you two had broke up then you could move on… eventually. But that's not how you lost him. Death… it's a whole different thing to deal with. You can't just box those feelings up and store them in a closet for when you're ready to face them. That's just running away. And aren't you the one who said that you can't run away forever" He said raising one eyebrow.

"What am I suppose to do then?" She begged trying not to cry.

"The way I see it you have two choices." He said calmly. "You can keep running and I'll tell Frederic that I'm incapable of fly this bucket of bolts. or…"

"Or what?"

"Or you can stop pushing him out of your life. Like it or not he will always be part of it. You'll never forget him. There will be days that you see or hear something that reminds you of him. Right now it hurts like hell. It makes you think of all you lost. But someday those same things could make you smile _because_ it reminds you of him. It could be his favorite song, an old picture or even… " He placed his hand on the skygrasper "...the machine he used to protect you. You can keep running from all of it. See the negatives in everythings. Or… you can embrace all that he was. You can see this skygrasper as the thing that became his tomb or see it as the weapon that made him a hero. It is your choice Miriallia Haww. Will you run? Or will you embrace all the pain and except all he died for?" She looked him in the eyes. She didn't know what to answer. Was she really still running from her feelings about Tolle's death.

"Sorry to interrupt" Frederic said as he walked back towards them. "But it is almost time for the two of you to go if you want to get to your first destination before nightfall" He explained. "So will the skygrasper be adequate?"

Dearka looked at Miriallia. She smiled at him. Looking into his deep amethyst eyes she knew the answer. "It's more than adequate. Thank you Frederic." There was something about Dearka that gave her the strength to face anything.

"Then I'll start packing it up" Dearka said as he grabbed her bags from her.

"That means it is time for us to part ways. We will keep in touch via video chat and emails." He reached in his pocket and handed Miriallia a device "Using this even in the most remote locations we will be able to contact you. Just plug it into your computer."

"Thank you"

"Just make sure you always answer. Mr Richard won't appreciate if you miss one. Plus we may start thinking the worst. You are going into possibly dangerous situations. Promise you will always answer. Even if you can only speak for a single minute… just answer the call"

"You're worried?" She said questioning him.

"Yes I suppose I am. I look at the two of you and all I see is two kids. You've been through so much in your young lives already. You should be living like regular teenager now not diving back into danger. I can only imagine what your parents are thinking right now."

Miriallia reached out and hugged the man. Although they only met the day before she had already formed a bond with him. "I promise we will always answer."

"Then Miriallia, Derrick… this is goodbye. I will see you both in one year's time when your assignment is complete."

Frederic left as Dearka finished packing all their things into the small plane. There was barely enough room but it would due. This wasn't suppose to be a luxury vacation. It was a job. They both went into the locker rooms and dressed themselves in flight suits. It was strange to wear the orange suit. Miriallia couldn't help but notice in the mirror how tightly it hugged all her curves. She never saw her body look so amazing.

She walked out into the hanger to see Dearka in his own suit. She could see every muscle on his body. It fit him exactly the way his ZAFT one did, but she never bothered to take notice back then. Now it was all she noticed. She also couldn't help but blush when he looked back at her. She knew he noticed it too. How much her body showed in that suit. He smiled at her. He always liked female soldiers, only because he got to see them in those suits. Of course right now he hated it… He hated it because he knew his eyes weren't the only ones on her. He couldn't help but feel protective of her. But that was the job he signed up for, to protect her from harm. Even if it was just a bunch of pervs on a military base.

"Sorry, did I take too long Derrick?" She asked seeing that he was looking at her funny.

"No…"

He grabbed the jacket he still had in his hands and draped it over her shoulders. She was going to question why he was covering her up but when she looked into his eyes she saw something she never thought she would. " _Is he jealous?_ " She wondered to herself.

"But we should get going. It's a long ways to our first destination. I've charted it out. Although Alaska will be our first big battlefield to go to there are a few smaller ones we can stop at on the way. It should only add a few days onto the trip there, but I promise we'll make it up in the end"

"Whatever you think it best Mr Eastman. I trust you with my life and my well being."

"Let get going then."

He helped her up into the cockpit. He sat down and looked at the controls. He seemed to hesitate for a minute. "You okay up there?" She asked from the seat behind him.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just a little harder than I thought to resist the urge to reprogram this thing." He looked back at her. "Old habits die hard." He joked before looking forward. "Also it my first time being in a mobile suit since the war. I've had horrible nightmares about piloting again ever since then. But like I told you. Sometimes you need to just face your fears"

"You're scared to pilot again?" She asked confused and worried about him.

"Not like the last time ended too well for me." He said referring to his near death experience in the final battle.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah Mir… because… I have you here" He said smiling at her. She smiled back. He pressed a few buttons and the screens began to light up.

"Derrick you are cleared to launch" said someone in the operations room.

He nodded and took hold of the controls. "Derrick Eastman, Skygrasper launching!"

They didn't know what the next few months had in store for them. They would be alone together for days on end. All they knew was their relationship was never going to be the same again.


	5. Chapter IV: The Cost of Stubborness

**Chapter IV: The Cost of Stubbornness  
**

Miriallia couldn't believe how exhilarating it was to fly over the world. It was nothing like being on the ARCHANGEL. Here it was just her and Dearka. It made her nervous being this close to him. She once believed she loved him… now she wasn't so sure. Regardless she knew was she couldn't have picked a better person to be on this journey with. A better person to protect her. Although the silence of the cockpit was starting to get on her nerves. He hadn't spoken to her since they took of from France.

She wasn't sure what was going on with him. Was it because he was still scared of piloting again? Or was this the way he was when piloting. Was he just in the zone? Or was he just not interested in small talk with a natural. Although she hoped they were past all that. After all he was posing as a natural right now, and had been for who knows how long. " _What is he hiding from anyways?_ " she thought.

Finally after almost three hours of flying he spoke. "You crossed a line back there" He said in an very irritated voice.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" She asked confused as she broke out of her daze.

"That shit about my father. My relationship with him isn't any of your business."

"Why not? Like it or not you're in my life for the next year. I deserve to know a little more about you. All I really know right now is that you're an ex-ZAFT soldier who deflected to us. Is it really so bad that I want to know more?"

"It's none of your business" He repeated. "You and I are colleagues and former comrades. Nothing more. I have no interest in sharing anything about my life with you. This is just a job, like it would have been to me had you been any other photographer. This is not some 'get to know you' trip around the world. We are getting paid to be together." He didn't like being rude to her but then again he was sincerely mad. He and his father had a rotten relationship. And it was something he didn't need her asking about. "Besides don't you think Frederic might have found it a little suspicious you were so interested in some councillors son? You shouldn't be so trusting of people"

"And you don't have to be a jerk" She said half under her breath. She leaned back in her seat and looked out the window. " _Why is he being like this? Why is he fighting me so hard?_ " She wondered.

"If that what gets you to drop it, then yes I do." He said quickly in a kinder tone than before. " _What the hell am I thinking? Dammit… why can't I shake these feelings! She a natural."_ He thought to himself. " _Not that_ _getting her to hate me is going to help things either. I just need to focus on the job._ "

"I'm sorry" Miriallia said after a few minutes of silence.

"Huh?"

"You're right. If you were any other bodyguard I wouldn't have wanted to know about you. But you're not. We have history. Nothing can change that. I wanted to know you back then and I want to know you now. You may not want to tell me right now… but someday I hope you will."

He looked at his monitors and then looked back towards her. "We're here" He stated ignoring what she said.

Mir looked down to the small island. It wasn't much of an island. There was a large cliff that overlooked the island. Surrounding the cliff on one side was the ocean. Jagged rocks scattered around. On the other side there was beach that appeared to be covered in large pieces of scrap metal. "Where exactly is here?" She asked confused.

"It's not on your little list if that is what you're wondering" He confessed. "But this was a battlefield from the war. It doesn't have much significance other than it was one of the earliest battlefields. A small confrontation between ZAFT and the Earth Alliance. You see there were two ships on their way to their respective bases. But due to them being enemies a battle took place. It's unclear who won, it seems they both retreated at the same time. Since it is a remote island not much was cleaned up on it. Only the larger pieces of the mobile suits. If nothing else you can get some practice." He explained "I'm going to land down there on that cliff."

"Alright" Dearka landed the small fighter jet down on the cliff. He pressed a button and top opened up letting some much needed fresh air to wash over them. He started to type quickly on the keyboard in front of him confusing Miriallia. "What are you doing? I thought you didn't want to make any adjustments? You know adjustments a _natural_ wouldn't make." she questioned.

"I'm not" he said sincerely. "I'm making sure no one can locate us. This is still a fighter jet. The war may be in a cease fire right now but there still is no treaty signed. It's best we remain on the side of caution. I'd rather not have anyone locating us and questioning what we are up to. Can you imagine what someone would say or do if they figured out I am a coordinator."

"I guess you're right." She said as she started to get out of the jet. She looked around the island. It seemed so much bigger now. It was so serene and calm. She would have never known it was a battlefield had Dearka not told her. She walked over to the edge of the cliff and looked down at the trees and debris. She started to lean forward to get a better look at the landscape below.

"HEY!" Dearka yelled in a panicked tone. He ran over to her and harshly yanked her away from the edge. He held his hand tightly around her wrist frowning at her. "What hell are you thinking! What do you think would happen if you fell off the edge?" He asked angry. "No guess?"

"You're hurting me!" She said as she ripped her arm out of his hand. "What the hell is your problem? I was just looking!"

"This is a battlefield. You better get use to the dangers that exist here! After all it's your job now to know!"

"What dangers! It's a deserted island far away from any civilization." She argued.

"That is still the edge of a cliff! You fall and you'll be lucky if you only break a few bones. I'd rather not have to fly you back in a body bag."

"I'm not an idiot. I'm smart enough to know to be careful. Why can you trust me"

"I'll trust you when you prove to me that I should. Just get the hell away from that edge" He ordered.

"You're not the boss of me."

"No, but I am your bodyguard." He replied ticked off. "Which means I am in charge of your well being. So move your ass and help me set up camp."

She looked at him angry. She couldn't believe he was actually talking to her like this. Was this really what he was like before they met? "Fine" She said irritated.

They both walked over to the skygrasper and started to unload their camping gear. Since they were still not getting along after their little 'danger' spat Dearka told Miriallia he would set up the tent on his own. It went up much faster than Mir expected. Seemed like he was use to doing it. How many times did he sleep in one during the three months he was out of her life she wondered. He stood up and checked to make sure everything was secure before turning to look at the girl watching him.

"You going to stay in that flight suit all night?" He asked sarcastically.

She looked down at the suit hugging her body tightly. "No". He picked up her bag of clothes and tossed it in the tent before starting to unfasten his suit. Miriallia walked past him and into the small tent. While inside she could see the shadow of Dearka undressing. She couldn't help but blush. She quickly changed out of her suit and into a pair of short short and a tank top. Once she knew he was dressed she exited the tent.

She felt uncomfortable as he looked her up and down. He shook his head almost in disgust before speaking to her. "I'm going down into the forest to get some firewood" He stated "You can take some photos when I'm gone but stay _away_ from the edges. The last thing I need you getting hurt on our first stop."

"Aye Aye Sir" She said mocking him with a salut. He rolled his eyes at her before turning and walking down the slope and into the woods. Miriallia watched his retreating form. She had never been so relieved to watch him walk away. The tension between them was higher than she had ever felt it before. " _What the hell is that guys deal?_ " She wondered to herself.

She picked up her camera and fitted with a lense suited for the pictures she wanted to take. She walked over to the side of the cliff, making sure to stay at least three feet away from the edge. The last thing she needed was Dearka yelling at her yet again. She snapped a few photos. It was interesting to see how the sea had washed the sand up around the remaining debris. It was a great example of how the war left scars on Earth. The landscape was forever changed.

Before long Dearka returned with his arms loaded with broken logs and branches. She watched from the corner of her eye as he readied a fire pit. She let her camera fall around her neck hanging by the strap. She walked over to him. "Do you need any help?" She asked trying not to make eye contact.

"No, I'm fine." He replied emotionless. "I know how to build a fire, I don't need you of all people helping me"

"I thought maybe it would be nice if I offered you some help… but clearly you're to arrogant to accept help from a natural!" She said angry before stomping off.

"Where the hell do you think your going!" He yelled at her.

"To finish my shoot! You know the whole reason I'm stuck with you!"

"If you had a problem with me you should have said so to Fredric or Mr. Richard"

"Just stay over there, out of my way" She ordered as she walked over to the edge of the cliff overlooking the water. She turned back around and pointed the camera towards the landscape in front of her.

"I thought I told you to stay away from the edge" He shouted over to her trying to suppress his anger.

"And I thought I told you to stay out of my way" She retorted pulling her camera away from her face. "Just let me do my job."

"Fine. But don't expect me to come to your rescue." He said standing up from his now roaring fire. He folded his arms in front of him and turned away. " _Dammit why won't she listen to me! This girl is so… stubborn!"_

Miriallia held her camera back up to her face. She looked through the viewfinder and snapped a few photos. The sky was starting to turn shades of pink and orange as the sun was setting over the ocean. Wanting to get a better picture she stated to step backwards. She could feel her heels at the edge of the cliff. Ignoring this she continued her shoot. She snapped picture after picture before she started to feel something strange under her feet. Before she realized what was happening the ground beneath her feet crumbled sending her falling off the edge of the cliff. "Ahhh!" She scream.

Dearka felt his heart sink into his stomach when he heard her scream. "Miriallia!" He yelled as turned and ran towards the edge. He fell to his knees looking down at the water. Below was several jagged rocks. Luckily for him it looked like she had missed them all. He waited a few seconds, but seeing she wasn't emerging from the water he began to panic. He threw his gun to the ground before removing his shirt and boots. He took a deep breath before jumping down into the water after her.

He looked around the deep cloudy waters. Spinning around a few times to look it seemed she was no where to be found. Taking a chance he swam deeper. The pressure of the water felt like it was crushing his lungs. He was running out of air. But he continued, knowing Miriallia was somewhere down there was all the motivation he needed. Somehow he found inner strength, and he moved his arms and legs as fast as her could. Finally he saw her laying a the bottom. She was unconscious. He reached down and grabbed her hand pulling her close to his body. It felt good to hold her in his arms. Pushing off the bottom with his feet he quickly swam to the top as fast as humanly possible.

He burst out of the water and gasped for air. Slowly he moved his arms through the quiet, calm water. He was worried. Miriallia's face had lost all color. Never had she looked so pale to him. Soon the water was only at his waist and he was able to pick her up into his carried Miriallia to the beach. Laying her down in an area that wasn't covered in debris. He placed his ear against her chest… she wasn't breathing.

"No! No no no no!" He repeated over and over. "Mir don't do this to me! You can't die! Not here! Not Now" He forced her mouth open and began to breath into her before starting chest compressions. He repeated this over and over again but no results. "Miriallia…" He felt tears rolling down his face like waterfalls. He couldn't believe it. He hadn't cried since he was a kid. But the thought of losing her was too much to bare. "Don't leave me… please." He struggled to say through the tears.

His head was telling him she was already gone. But he didn't want to listen to his head. His heart was telling him not to give up. After finishing his latest round of chest compressions he started to breath into her again. He reached down about to push on her chest again when she started to cough up water. He had never been more happy in his life to see someone cough. He pushed her onto her side and began to rub her back gently. When the water stopped coming up out of her mouth he helped her lay back down.

Miriallia looked up at him. Her vision was blurry but she could see a half naked Dearka leaning over her. " _Is… is he crying? For me?"_ She wondered before losing consciousness again. Dearka wiped away his tears before picking her up. He carried her into the woods and up the slope onto the cliff where their camp was set up. He gently laid her in the tent. He covered her up and watched her sleep for a few minutes. For a minute he thought he should remove her wet clothes but thought it might be a little inappropriate. Instead he just grabbed some dry clothes of his own. He had almost lost her, all because he decided to be a jerk.

The loud crackling of the fire woke her up. She felt groggy as she rubbed her eyes while sitting up. A flash of a memories appeared in her mind. Falling off the cliff. The light dimming as she sunk down. Dearka… crying? She looked around the tent. Dearka was nowhere to be found. Feeling she was still in her wet clothes she got up and changed into some dry PJs. She walked out of the tent and saw Dearka sitting by the fire, poking the coals.

"You know you shouldn't play in the fire… it can be dangerous" She said in as sweet of voice as she could.

He laid down the stick and leaned back against the log behind him. But he stayed silent not looking at her. She stood there just watching him. He seemed so lost in thoughts. She walked over and sat next to him. She felt her heart pounding. She was nervous. Her hands felt clammy. Her breathing was getting erratic. He looked over towards her. "You feeling… okay" He asked concerned.

"Yes… Thanks to you" She looked deep into his eyes. She could see how happy he was to know she was okay. She smiled at him before leaning her head against his shoulder. She felt him jump slightly. It almost felt like he was going to pull away when instead he laid his head against hers. They both felt the butterflies building in their stomachs.

They looked up at the stars. The moon was full that night. In the distance they could see the PLANTs. It was there in space that their paths had first crossed. They had no idea back then that each other even existed. He despised naturals. And she was fearful of all ZAFT soldiers. Now here they sat together under the glow of the moonlight. Her being thankful that he saved her life. Something neither one of them ever thought he would do.

Dearka took a deep breath before wrapping his arm around her and pulling her in close. "Don't… don't ever scare me like that again." He said softly under his breath. She cuddled in close.

"I have no intentions of ever doing that again." She replied. Tired she laid her head down on his lap. He smiled down at her sleeping form. Maybe… just for tonight he didn't need to push down his feelings for her. He was falling in love with her, he had no doubts about that. He had been since the moment he first heard her name. But now for the first time he was willing to accept that, even if it was only for the night.


	6. Chapter V: Aftermath of Near Tragedy

**Chapter V: Aftermath of Near Tragedy**

Miriallia laid on her back staring up the tent above her head. It was morning now, time for her to get up but she was lost in her thoughts of the night before. She had almost died. If it wasn't for Dearka jumping in after her she would be gone now. Then there was his tears. She never thought it was possible for that guy to cry. But she was sure that was what she had seen, there was no doubt in her mind. He was crying for her. He thought she was gone and he cried over it. Of course she couldn't forget about cuddling with him next to the campfire either. She had never felt so safe and happy like that since she lost Tolle. That feeling was starting to creep back on her. That feeling she had before the end of the war. The feeling that she may love him.

She was broken from her thoughts when she heard Dearka outside the tent. It sounded like he was fiddling with something but she wasn't sure what. She stood up, fixed her hair and went outside. She was shocked to see her camera was in a million pieces surrounding him. "What are you doing! Are you crazy!" She said in shock.

He looked up at her with a slightly disgusted looking on his face. "If you recall you took this thing down with you when you did a swan dive off that cliff. It's filled with water and not working. I'm trying to fix it so that you can continue the job you were hired for. If we're lucky I can fix it, if not we need to make a detour and get you a new one" He explained.

"I'm sorry… It just took me by surprise." She said quietly looking away. "It is my livelihood after all."

"You don't get it do you?" He spat at her. She sat down across from him and looked at him confused.

"Don't get what" she questioned tilting her head.

"Why I was hired? Why any bodyguard needed to be hired?"

"I..." She was surprised to hear him talk to her like this again. After last night she thought that his beef with her was over. But maybe she was wrong.

"This assignment has the potential to be extremely dangerous. You know nothing of defending yourself. I'm here to protect you and when you refuse to listen to when I advise you of danger guess what? You get yours in trouble."

"I can take care of myself!"

"Really?! That's what you think? Because what I think is that you're just some girl with a camera"

"I'm an ex-soldier" she replied angry.

"You're an ex-volunteer-soldier. You never had any real training. You just were dragged into a war you couldn't possibly understand."

"And who's fault was that!" She snapped. "I was a student, in a neutral nation and you attacked us"

"I didn't attack you or your nation. My _team_ attacked the Earth Alliance that was hiding out there with weapons they intended to use against us. You and Heliopolis were just collateral damage."

"After all that you've seen in the war do you really still believe that Dearka Elsman?"

"What I believe doesn't matter. What matters are the facts. Back then when it happened I was an arrogant soldier and I did whatever it took to complete the missions I was given."

"And what about now?"

"Now my mission is to protect the person my client assigns me to. And I all I know is that you were lucky yesterday. I was able to get to you just in time" He was quiet for a few seconds as he started to reassemble her camera. "You were gone" He said in a raspy gentle tone. She could tell the events of the night before were still playing in his head. In looked sad. "I kept trying to resuscitate you... much longer than the recommended time. I thought I had failed. Then you started to cough up water and I knew you were alive." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a minute before opening them. He looked her straight in the eyes and continued. "I'm nothing without you. If I lose you then I fail this mission. It wouldn't be the first one I have, but it would be the hardest to live with. You need me more than you're willing to admit. All I ask is that you listen to me when I tell you you're putting yourself in harm's way. Let me do my job and I'll make sure you can do yours."

Miriallia looked away from him. She felt defeated. Her eyes went over to where she had fallen. He had warned her and she didn't listen. Her lungs and chest still hurt from her near death experience. He was right she needed to trust him. She needed to put their complicated past behind her and focus on the future. She was about to tell him that when she heard the familiar click of her camera. She looked over at Dearka shocked.

"Looks like we're in luck. It's fixed." He said looking down at the picture he just took.

Miriallia crawled over to him and looked at the picture. It was so beautiful. It was one of the best pictures she had ever seen of herself. She was so deep in thought and it showed in the picture. "It's...perfect." She said smiling at him. Her voice was so kind and gentle, one he hadn't heard often. "Do you mind if I submit this for my bio?"

He looked at her surprised. "Ah… well… if that's what you want" he stuttered. She reached over and put her hands on her camera to take it from him. Her fingers brushed over his causing him to blush. See this she blushed as well. "Mir… about yesterday…" He started before her computer began to ring.

She stood up and walked over towards it. It was a incoming video chat from Frederic. She clicked the accept button and up popped his face. "Hello Frederic!" She said excited. "How are you this morning"

"Excellent Miss Haww"

"Call me Miriallia" She replied smiling. Dearka could help but frown looking at her talking with someone else. They seemed to make her so happy and he was only able to make her mad. But he was always busy fighting an internal battle within his own head. Fighting against what he grew up believing and what he believed now. Fighting against who he once was and who he wanted to be.

"How was your first night on assignment?" He asked curious.

"A little rough going" She joked.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes. Derrick and I just need to get use to one another still I think. It's hard for two people to get to know each other in such a short period of time, especially in a situation like this."

"Is he treating you ok?" He questioned worried. They were after all just two teenagers sent out on an assignment all alone. He couldn't help but fear the 'Derrick' might try something inappropriate.

"He's treating me better than ok." she said. She looked up from the laptop towards Dearka for a second before looking back at the chat window. "The relationship might be rough right now but he is making sure to put my safety as the number one priority. I… I just need to learn to listen to him more. To accept his advice. It's difficult I have to admit. When I was a soldier all I did was do what others told me to do. Now that I'm out of the military and trying to find a life outside it I can't help be try to prove to myself I have what it takes to survive in this world on my own. But I think I'm forgetting sometimes you still need the strength of others."

Dearka couldn't help but smile at her. Even though she was speaking to Frederic he knew he words were meant for him. "That is good to hear. I know that independence is important to you but you still need him. Maybe someday you'll be about to freelance on your own but for now you should trust your partner. He is there for you"

"I know"

"How is things for the assignment itself going?" He asked.

"We stopped off on an island on our way to the first location. It's a little known battlefield from early in the war. I've been able to get some pretty interesting shots. Not sure if they will be of any use to the magazine but It gave me a good sense of what to expect."

"When will you arrive at the first location"

"By this afternoon. We will be packing up camp soon and leaving not long after that."

"Excellent. Then I will let you go. I will call again in a few days time. À bientôt Miriallia, and give Mr Eastman my best"

"Bye" She said waving before the video cut out. She closed the laptop and stood up. She stretched her arms up high and yawned. Looking down at Dearka she smiled "We _should_ get going. I've taken enough pictures here and we need to get to the first location soon. Reconstruction is set to begin next week. If we want to get some honest images of what the war left the land looking like we need to go now."

"Right" He said standing up and extinguishing the fire. "Then lets get packed up. It's time we go face the battlefield that changed it all. It's time we go back to Alaska."

The entire flight was spent in silence once again. A different kind of silence this time though. It was a silence the both mutually needed. Alaska was a fight that changed the war forever. In that battle a cyclops system was activated by the Earth Alliance. The ARCHANGEL was left for dead and 80% of ZAFT forces sent there were eliminated. It was also in that battle that it was discovered Kira Yamato was alive. The crew of the ARCHANGEL learned things there that would later influence them to betray the Earth Alliance. A betrayal that would later cause Dearka himself to turn his back on ZAFT. Going back here was a difficult journey for both of them.

Miriallia heard Dearka gasp slightly. She looked out the window to see what was the matter. They had arrived at their destination. It had been eight months since the JOSH-A base had been destroyed. In that time the land had been left alone. No clean up had been started yet due to the war escalating after the battle that took place there. Parts of buildings and mobile suits laid down in a large crater created by the explosion they themselves had narrowly escaped.

 **Flashback**

"Captain!" They heard Mwu yell as he entered the bridge.

"Commander?" The Captain said surprised "Wh-what in the world? What about your new post?"

"That's not important! Right now, we need to get outta here!" He said urgently "This is a screwy plan! What orders have the Defense Corps received?" He asked before they were hit with yet another blast from the enemy. "Listen! And listen well! A Cyclops System has been set up below the Headquarters! That thing is big enough to turn everything within ten kilometers into a smoking crater! It's impossible to defend the base with theses forces." He explained "Reinforcements from Panama will not be here in time. Soon the Defense Corps will be annihilated… the main gate will be broken… and headquarters will activate the Cyclops System to blow up the base! The plan is to take out the better part of ZAFT's fighting strength! That's the scenario for this battle written out by those high-ranking authorities!"

A blast hit them again. Was it all really hopeless? Were they really left for dead? "That can't be!" Murrue yelled surprised.

"I saw it with my own eyes!" He replied. "There's not one officer in the Headquarters! The only ones remaining to fight are the troops of Eurasia and the ships like the ARCHANGEL the hot shots have given up on!"

"So they left us to die here? Is that it?" The ship's pilot asked.

"Only after a desperate battle, so the enemy doesn't realize they've retreated." Mwu answered. The whole bridge fell into silence. A depressed lost silence until finally someone broke that silence.

"What kind of strategy is this!? Because this is a war... and because we're all supposed to be good soldiers... if they tell us to... then I guess we're just supposed to throw away our lives." Miriallia said with tears building up in her eyes.

 **End of Flashback**

Miriallia could still remember that day like it was yesterday. The hopeless feeling. She thought they were going to die that day. Thinking back she couldn't imagine what was going through Dearka's mind back then. He was a prisoner on their ship. If they were defeated he would die but it would mean ZAFT finally won against them. Which side was he rooting for then? Did he want the ARCHANGEL to win for his own survival? After all he did surrender to them to save his own life. He must have been scared back then, not being able to do anything. His fate in the enemy's hands.

"I'm going to land in that clearing there" He said pointing out the window. "You can take a few pictures and then we'll head up to the cliffs that overlook it and set up camp"

"Are you sure we should land down there? It could be dangerous" She said.

"It will be fine, as long as you promise you'll listen when I warn you of impending dangers."

"I promise"

"Then I'm taking us down for a landing. You can change out of that flight suit once we land and then we'll get to work"

He safely landed the fighter jet among the debris of the battlefield. They took the first few minutes to change out of the flight suits and into some more comfortable clothing. They looked around the battlefield. It was covered in a light coat of snow. But that couldn't hide the deviation below. Miriallia started to get her camera ready to start taking pictures. When she looked up Dearka was no where to be found. She felt scared. She quickly turned around and saw his footprints in the snow. Following them with her eyes she saw him walking towards the remains of a GINN.

He had wild flowers in his hands. She looked along his footpath and saw that he had freshly picked them. She watched him stop in front of what was once a mobile suit. He almost looked like he was praying… praying for the ZAFT soldier who had lost his life in that suit. After a moment of silence he placed the flowers down in front of the machine. Miriallia couldn't help herself. It was a moment that touched her heart and soul. She held her camera up and took a picture.

As hard as it was for her to be here she knew it was just as hard maybe even harder for him. His comrades were being killed while he was trapped unable to stop any of it. He knew in his heart even if he had been there there would have been nothing he could have done. But that didn't stop the desire to have at least had the chance.

Dearka took a deep breath and headed back towards Miriallia. He looked at her and faked a smile. "They never said this was going to be easy… I just didn't realize how hard this really was going to be"

"We can do this" Miriallia said. "To find new lives outside of the war… We need to move past the war itself. Even if that means facing all the pain that comes with it."

Dearka looked back at the GINN. "Looking at all this do you really believe the peace can last… when our people are willing to do this to each other in the name of wiping one another out. Can Naturals and Coordinators really live in peace"

"I don't know… but… " She looked him in the eyes and smiled. "I'm willing to do anything to try and make it work. War can't happen again. This can't happen again. Maybe our people can never love one another… but if only they could tolerate one another… then peace can stand a chance. We need to show the world what war is really like and hope that is enough to show that this can never happen again"

He couldn't help but smile at her optimism. "Then Miss Haww let's get to work"


	7. Chapter VI: What Happens in Alaska

**Chapter VI: What Happens in Alaska**

Dearka knelt down on the ground organizing the firewood he had gathered. It was 1800 hours and the temperature in Alaska was already dropping. Before long he had a roaring fire that could warm even the coldest soul. He smiled a satisfied smile hearing it crackle and pop. This world was so beautiful he thought. Even with all the horrors it had been through there was still some sort of beauty and serenity to it. The evening wind even seemed to have a calming effect on him as it blew.

He watched as Miriallia walked towards the edge of the mountain. He was about to yell when she stopped about 10 feet from the side. She sat down and seemed to be enjoying the breeze as well. They hadn't spoken much since they arrived. It seemed to be the mood that was set by the battlefield. It was hard to focus on the fight between them when there was such devastation all around them. Seeing her shiver he stood up, grabbing a blanket and walked towards her. He draped it over her shoulders and sat down. He could tell she was staring down at the crater lost in thought.

"You ok?" He asked worried. He waited a few minutes in silence but she didn't answer. "Miri-"

"Do you realize how close we all were to dieing here?" She asked suddenly. "The ARCHANGEL was suppose to parish here. It was the plan that Headquarters had set out for us. If it hadn't been for Commander La Flaga we would have. The entire crew of the ARCHANGEL dead in an instant… you as well"

"But we didn't. I know it's hard right now, seeing what could have been. But you and I made it through the war. We survived and now it is up to us to document the horrors of the war in hopes that nobody has to face these things again." He said reassuringly.

"One moment… one decision it can change everything" She looked him in the eyes. He had never seen her so determined and serious. "Life is short and unpredictable. It can end in an instant. At any moment tragedy could strike."

"So what do you plan on live a safe sheltered life? Because I don't think this job will fit into that kind of lifestyle."

"No…" She looked over the horizon. The sun was starting to set. "I want to live every moment of my life to the fullest. I don't want to take a single second for granted. The way I see it we've been living on borrowed time ever since the battle here in Alaska…" They sat in silence for a few minutes watching the sun going down. "Dearka?"

"Yeah Hon-iallia?" he quickly corrected. The tranquility of being around her had caused him to drop his guard. He could tell she was ready to scold him for the slip up but instead her face softened to a gentle small smile.

"Promise me you'll live a life without regrets. We need to stop letting our fears hold us back. Whether it is fears we create in ourselves or the fears of how people will react to our actions. We need to live for ourselves, not others. We only get one life after all."

"I promise." He said before standing up. He reached his hand down to help her up. She quickly accepted. "So why don't we start with me cooking us some supper while you go explore the mountains bit"

She looked at him shocked. "Are… are you serious. You're going to let me just go off on my own"

"Yeah, as long as you promise me a few things first."

"What?" She said reluctantly.

"Be careful. Stay away from any debris you may see. Stay on the trails and be back in a hour." His terms were simple. Maybe he was starting to actually take her seriously.

"Ok I promise" He watched her walking off down into the woods. It made him nervous to see her leave but it felt like the right thing to do. This was her journey. He was here to protect her not inhibit her.

Before the hour was up she returned just as promised, and in one piece no less. She walked over to the fire where Dearka was pour each of them a bowl of freshly made Veggie Soup. "Here" He said kindly as he passed her a bowl.

"Mmmmm… it smells so good!" She said as she sat down beside him. "I don't know you could cook!"

He laughed at her slightly "And yet you we willing to leave me to do the cooking while you explored."

She just smiled at him for a few seconds before trying the soup. It was the single best soup she had ever tasted. It even rivaled her mother's. Was there nothing coordinators couldn't do? The warmth of the soup filled her belly. It was almost like she could taste the love and care that went into it. "Who taught you to cook?" She asked as she continued to eat.

"Who teaches anyone to cook?" He replied sarcastically. Seeing she was confused he answered for real. "My mother taught me. She believed it was a very important life skill."

"You've never really talked about your mother before"

"There was no reason to."

"What is she like… if you don't mind me asking that is" She was worried what his reaction was going to be asking him this. He was a bit volatile when it came to questions about his father, not that she asked it the best way.

"She… was a great mother"

"Was?" Miriallia asked.

"To be honest I haven't spoke to her much since the fight my father and I had before I joined the academy. She supported his decision not mind and being an immature kid I was I decided to focus on myself and go forward with them being my past not my future. I haven't spoken to either of them since joining the Creuset Team."

"Do you miss her?"

She could see he was sad. "Yeah… she is my mother. But going back is not that easy. A lot of things were said that can never be taken back."

"By you or her?"

"She was just an innocent bystander to a fight. No words were directed at her but seeing her means seeing _him_. And that is something I'm not willing to do. Not now maybe not ever."

"You hate him that much?"

"Our views on the direction of my life didn't line up back then. It caused a fight, many fights. That hasn't changed. It will never change. Especially now. I can't imagine his face if he knew I was here with you. Protecting a natural, even saving your life."

"I'm sorry"

"Huh?"

"I always thought you high society people had such wonderful lives. But you're just like everyone else, you have struggles… just different ones."

"Who ever said I was high society?" He questioned.

"Please, you're a councilman's son. Everyone, even in Orb, knows that those families are well off"

"Maybe so" He said taking her empty bowl from her.

"It was delicious by the way."

"Thank you"

Miriallia stretched her arms up high before leaning back and laying down on her back. She looked up at the sky. It was now dark. It seemed to get dark so early. Of course it was January. She stared at the stars and then at the PLANTs "Hey Dearka?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about going back? To ZAFT that is"

He looked over at her confused. "I betrayed them. There is no way they would ever let me join again" He lied. He knew it was a possibility. Yzak had told him so himself. A spot on his team was waiting for him, reserved for when he 'figured out' his life.

"But if there was a chance would you do it?"

"It depends..."

"On what?" She asked sitting up to look at him.

"If there was something here on Earth that was better. We only get one life right. Maybe spending it in the military isn't what I want anymore… Why do you want to know anyway?"

"I just… don't want to be holding you back from anything."

"I'm committed to this I promise. I'm not going to leave you high and dry. When this is all over then I'll think about your question again but until then… I'm all yours."

"Good" She said with smile before laying down. "Because… I think I need you more than you think. You're more than a bodyguard to me Dearka. You're… a friend."

He smiled at her. It was nice to know she had some kind of affectionate feelings for him. He was trying to fight off the feelings he had for her, but would friendship really be all that bad? "You shouldn't lay in the snow to long. You'll catch a cold" He advised.

"Then maybe you can come with me to warm up" She stood up and smirked at him devilishly. It was a smirk he had never seen on her before and yet one he knew all too well. It was one he had given many girls before. He raised an eyebrow questioningly before speaking.

"What do you mean by that?"

"When I was exploring earlier I found something very interesting."

"Which is?"

"A natural hot spring. Let's go take a dip! Unless you're scared."

"Me? Scared? Fat chance" he replied.

"Then come on I'll show you"

They walked together through the mountain side until they could see steam just beyond the bushes. Dearka looked at it in awe. "It's amazing" He said under his breath.

"Have you never seen one before?" She asked curious.

"It's not something we have in PLANTs" he admitted.

"Then I guess you're in for a treat" She said winking at him. Placing her hands on the bottom of her shirt she whipped it off quickly and threw in on top of his head, block his sight. He was so dumbfounded it he just stood there for a second. Snapping out of it he pulled the shirt of his head and looked at the vision of beauty in front of him. Her clothes were now all on the ground and she was walking into the hot spring. He could just barely see her naked butt before she fully submerged herself to her neck and turned to look at him. She smiled noticing how much he was blushing. "Your turn" She said softly.

He could tell she was nervous, then again so was he. He took a deep breath then stripped down to his boxers. "Do you mind?" He asked raising one eyebrow. She giggled a second before covering her eyes. Once he knew she wasn't looking he removed his boxers and walked into the water. He wasn't quite sure why it mattered if she saw him naked or not. Any other girl he won't care… but she wasn't any other girl.

They both leaned back against the rocks, relaxing in the heat of it. It was the most soothing feeling either of them had felt in a while. Like all their pain and troubles were melting away. Mir looked up at the stars, it was a beautiful night surrounded by land rocked by tragedy.

"What was it like?" Miriallia finally asked after almost ten minutes of complete silence. "When we were fighting in Alaska? You were all alone. You didn't know what was happening."

He looked her in the eyes, struggling to find the words. "I… was torn to say the least. For so long I fought to destroy the ARCHANGEL. But in the battle I was on the ship. For the first time I was praying for ZAFT to lose or at least for the defeat to be swift and my death quick." He said honestly. "But… I was afraid too."

"It was a battlefield in the middle of war… it would be hard not to be afraid."

"This was a different kind of afraid… one I never had felt before" He wanted to explain further but didn't dare. He wanted to tell her he was afraid that he would lose her. But that would require him admitting that he had feelings for her. "Maybe it was because I wasn't in control or something"

"Yeah that makes sense" Silence fell over them once again until Mir thought she heard something in the woods "Eeeee" She squealed. Deciding she didn't want to be over by herself she floated over towards Dearka.

"It's just icicles falling" Dearka reassured her trying not to laugh.

"Right" She said quietly as she sat beside him. She was so close she was almost touching him. She felt knots in her stomach. She had never felt like this in her life. Her feelings for him were starting to boil up again. Dearka felt like the steam was suffocating him all of a sudden. This feeling only increased when Miriallia moved to be between his legs.

She leaned back resting her head on his chest. Nervously he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Ah Mir?"

"I never… " She whispered. "I never thanked you for fight alongside us. You lost everything because of it… Your home… Your Family… Your friend." She said sadly.

"It… was all worth it." He said in a husky tone. She turned her head to look at him. She had never seen him look at her like that before. It was a longing desperate look.

Turning away quickly her face turned a bright crimson, one she knew his face must have been covered in as well. "We should get back to the camp… it's late… and we have a lot of work to do over the next few days."

"Yeah… you're right." He felt her pull away from him and he closed his eyes to give her privacy. He didn't want to. He wanted to look at every inch of her, but it was better to just leave it this way. She was forbidden fruit and he needed to remember that.

The next few days of the shoot was spent talking about work related things. Tensions were still high from the hot springs. Anytime they found themselves close to one another the nerves would build up until they felt like they would explode. With the photoshoot done, Miriallia wasn't sure how the ride in the skygrasper was going to go. They had tried their best to stay out of each other's way, but now they were going to be cooped up together for who knows how long.

They climbed up into the fighter jet. Miriallia leaned back in the seat and prepared herself for a long ride spent in tension filled silence… again. She could help but mentally kick herself for the hot spring incident. What was she thinking getting so close to him like that… getting in between his legs like that? Maybe the problem was that she wasn't thinking, she was following what her heart was telling her.

They were in the air for almost an hour when Dearka finally said something. "You know…" She looked up at him surprised that he was actually talking again. "You should actually learn some self defense one of these days. We're going to get to some battlefield eventually that aren't going to be abandoned. If you had some training I wouldn't have to ride you all the time about safety."

"We're in the middle of nowhere on a schedule, when am I supposed to find a place and time to get a trainer?" She asked.

"We'll you know there is this ex-soldier you're traveling with who happened to graduate with summa cum laude. He might be able to show you a thing or two."

Miriallia couldn't help but smile. The prospect of learning to protect herself actually was very intriguing. It would definitely be something nice to know, especially if this was a career she was going to stick to for a while. "You would teach me? Where? When" She asked excited.

"Why not now? That island looks pretty good. We'll land and set up there."

"Are you sure we can spare another day?"

"Yeah, we have more then enough time to spare a few days here and there. Besides I think something like this should take priority. It is all about your safety after all."

"Then sure, let's go for it" Dearka landed the fighter jet on the small island. Before long they were setting up camp once again. They were getting to be pros at it already.

Miriallia couldn't help but blush and be nervous when she saw her bodyguard remove his shirt. The other night had been too dark to notice his toned muscles. He was so lean and muscular, but it was well hidden but the clothing he wore. He was definitely one handsome young man. She watched as he raised an eyebrow at her. He looked almost confused… or maybe he was noticing how red his face was.

"You should get changed" He finally said. "Something more comfortable that you can really move around in."

"Ahh… right" She said snapping out of her staring contest with his abs. She grabbed her bag and headed into their tent. Before long she emerged where yoga pants and a sports bra. It was his turn to stare at her. He smiled slightly before getting down to business.

"Come on then... let's get started." He walked over to the sandy area only about 20-30 feet from their camp. She stood a few feet from him ready and eager to learn. "Okay the first thing you want to learn is how to get away if someone has you by the wrist. Just grab hold of mine and I'll walk you through it" She nodded and grabbed hold of his wrist. "Don't try to beat a wrist hold by pulling away from your attacker. Instead what you want to do it rotate your wrist..." He said as twisted his wrist. "... So that your thumb meets his fingers and jerk sharply but bending your arm at the elbow." He explained without fully demonstrating. He didn't want to hurt her. "And you'll be free." He said before taking hold of her wrist with his other hand surprising her. "Now your turn"

"looks easy enough" She said a bit scared to try. He seemed to have a tight grip on her. He wasn't joking around with this self defense stuff. She swallowed hard and prepared to free herself. Slowly she rotated her wrist and jerked sharply as instructed. Much to her surprise she managed to shake him off. "Oh...oh my god! I did it." She said surprised, smiling ear to ear.

"Don't get too excited" He said seriously. "You've only learned one more. There is more to protecting yourself then just that"

"You can't at least be proud I did the first one right"

"I'd think you were hopeless if you didn't" She pouted for a second before looking back at him. She gave him a faint smile.

"So what next?"

He smirked devilishly at her before starting to explain some more moves. Some her demonstrated fully others, for his own safety only explained how they were performed. "When you're in a confrontation, you only have a few seconds and a few moves to try before the fight may be decided. Before an attacker has gained full control of you, you must do everything you can, conserving as much energy as possible, to inflict injury so you can get away. This is no time to be civil. In a physical confrontation that calls for self-defense, it's hurt or be hurt. So aim for the parts of the body where you can do the most damage easily: the eyes, nose, ears, neck, groin, knee, and legs. Got it"

"Got it" She replied nodding.

"Alright Mir it time" He said crouching down slightly into an attack stance. "I'm going to come after you. It's you job to stop i. And don't think I will go easy on you. The same goes for you, don't you dare go easy on me. I don't care if you make me bleed, show me that you can protect yourself. Then maybe I can loosen my reins on you a bit."

"And if I really hurt you?"

"We'll worry about that _if_ it happens. Now let's do this"

Miriallia took a deep breath, she didn't have much time to think before Dearka started to head towards her. Remembering everything he had taught her in the last couple of hours she readied herself for the worst. First thing he did was grab her wrist. She quickly broke free using the technique he had taught her. Next he moved behind her. She really didn't want to hurt him but she knew it was all in the name of her learning. Taking her elbow she jabbed him as hard as she could in the stomach. This caused him to stumble back slightly. She took this as her opportunity to kick him in the back of the knee causing him to fall into the water. Unfortunately for her she lost her balance as well forcing her to fall straight on top of him.

They were now both soaking wet. Looking deep into each other's eyes. Miriallia lying partly on him. Dearka couldn't help but think the last time they were in the ocean together he thought he lost her. It was the most helpless feeling in the world. It made everything else in his life seem so unimportant. It stirred up more confusion in him that anything ever had before. He thought he might have had feeling for her before that day, but when he was giving her mouth to mouth her realized there was no _might_ about it. Maybe it was time he stopped fighting it.

Dearka reached up and brushed her wet hair out of her face. She blushed at his gentle touch. They were only inches apart. "Mir…" He said in a nervous raspy voice. "I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do. All those things I did when I was a ZAFT soldier… I never knew I was doing those things to you. And now… I just want you to know that... " He looked so scared to finally say the word. Say the things he had been dying to say since they were soldiers on the ARCHANGEL. "I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new and the reason is… you" He finally confessed.

She looked at him eyes wide. What was he trying to say she wondered. This thought all went out the window when he leaned forward and kissed her. She was so surprised, she didn't know how to react. She didn't know whether to lean in or pull away. Instead she waited for him to pull away. The stayed in the water looking deep into each other's eyes, face covered in a medley of red tones. Neither one of them knew what to do next or say. It was a moment they wished would last forever and end quickly all at the same time.

They luckily got a moment of relief when their laptop began to ring. Miriallia awkwardly stood up. grabbing a sweater quickly she wrapped herself up and answered the call. "Hi Frederic" She said, blush still across her face. Dearka stood up and walked over to start building a fire so they could warm up.

"Miriallia you look soaked to the bone"

"Yeah… it's nothing. I just took a dip in the water" She explained.

"I see… I trust everything is going ok with Derrick." He said in a questioning tone.

"Of course" She looked at her self-defense trainer for a second then back at the screen. "Nothing has changed since the last time we spoke…"


	8. Chapter VII: The Life Changing Island

**Chapter VII: The Life Changing Island**

Dearka sat alone on the beach. Knees tucked under his chin, he was lost in thoughts. With a stick in his hand he traced circles in the sand. He had really screwed things up this time. It was one thing to keep pushing her away with his cold demeanor… but to suddenly change and steal her first kiss after _him_. Maybe he had gone too far. But he couldn't hold his feelings back any longer. He felt like he was about to burst at all times, and the moment he held her lips against his that feeling slipped away.

He couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot. After Miriallia finished talking with Frederic she headed into the tent and never came out. Not wanting to overstep again he stayed close to the beach, even if it meant nearly freezing overnight since he was so far away from the fire. " _What was I thinking. She doesn't want anything to do with me"_ He thought sadly.

He looked up from his knees and watched as the sun rouse in the distance. It was a beautiful sight. One that he couldn't really enjoy. Not when the girl he had the biggest crush on wouldn't speak to him. He started to wonder what it would be like if he could be completely open with her. She already knew more about him and his family than he had ever told any other girl before. But in reality that meant nothing.

Miriallia Haww was not like any of the girls he dated. He was once into loose girls who would practically throw themselves at his feet. They all wore inappropriately tight and short clothing and treated him like a god. All these girls had something else in common as well. They all seemed to have horrible personalities. But Dearka still fooled around with them since they we at least beautiful. As for Mir, she was just an average girl. In many ways she was like no one he had ever met before. She was her own person who wore her emotions on sleeve. He admired that about her. She was brave too. After everything she had been through during the war she was still willing to put herself out there and do what she dreamed of doing.

And what about him? He was hiding on Earth, unwilling to face his father. The truth was he stayed in Orb because he thought going back to the PLANTs would put his life in danger. Then afraid of the feelings growing for Miriallia he ran from Orb. But after meeting back up with her in Paris and becoming her bodyguard he wanted nothing more than to stay by her side. Even when Yzak showed up telling him it was safe to come home. Because at the point he couldn't help but think of his father. What would he think of what his son had been up to for the past half of a year. Or maybe the most honest truth was that he was running away from himself, who he use to be and who he was becoming.

"D-Dearka?" He heard a voice say softly behind him. Knowing it was Miriallia he snapped out of his trance and stood up, turning to look at her. She wasn't making eye contact with him. She looked distraught and upset. He couldn't help but think it was all because of him.

"Ah… Hey" He replied quietly.

"We…" She seemed to be having trouble formulating words. "We need to talk."

"Of course. We can talk about anything, anything in the world you want to talk about I'm here for you"

"I want to go to _the_ island." She said emphasising 'the'. He knew exactly what she meant by this.

"Mir… are you sure. That island it's whe-"

"Tolle died." She interrupted finishing his sentence. "And it's also the place where you became a prisoner. I think it is important for us to both go back there. To the place that changed our lives forever. I want to walk on the island he took his last breath on. I want to breath it's air and maybe get some closure on all of this. Will you take me there?" She asked practically begging for him to say yes.

"No" He replied. She looked him in the eyes finally, shocked at his response. How could he say no to her? "If you want to go there fly there yourself. If the reason you want to go is to feel what he felt in his last moments then being in that backseat isn't enough. So if you want to go the only way I'll let you is if you pilot the SKYGRASPER yourself."

"B-but I've never flown before"

"You used the simulator before didn't you?"

"Yes… but I had a did horrible. I would get shot down so fast an-"

"This is not war. You are nothing going out into battle. You learned the basic controls right?"

"Yes" She replied slowly.

"Then that is all you need to know. If you can get it lifted off the ground then we'll go… together."

"And if I can't"

"Then call it destiny's way of telling you that this is a bad idea." She thought about his words. He was right. If she wanted to truly experience a fraction of what he did that day then she should pilot the small jet.

It wasn't long before they were packed up once again and she was in the pilot's seat. Dearka quickly reviewed with her how to run the machine. She seemed to have a nervous confidence. Although the idea to go there was her own it didn't stop the uneasy feelings. She didn't know if she was ready yet, but if she let herself she would keep putting it off. It was now or never. Time for her to stop running. She placed her hand on the controls and took a deep breath. Much to her surprise she took off with ease. It was so strange to be in control.

She could hear Dearka was fidgeting in the back. No doubt he was nervous to have handed the reins off to her. In her time getting to know him so far, she had learned that he doesn't like decisions being made for him. Maybe it had to do with his childhood. In the past week or so she found out that he was the son of a politician. Because of this he probably grew up without many choices, everything decided for him. Now that he was on his own he was thriving in the freedom of it.

"You doing okay back there?" She asked looking back.

"Stay focused" He said firmly.

"Just because I look back doesn't mean I'm not focusing. Besides you do it."

"I'm an experienced pilot, you're a newbie. Don't get overconfident or you'll-"

"Be the next one to go?" She said sadly.

"Mir…"

"I know this isn't a war. I know we're not in battle but that doesn't change the feelings I have every time we climb into this thing. I still remember the day he died. They told me that if I didn't get over it fast I would be next. I've never felt so powerless as I did in that day."

"You know that is not what I meant."

"I know" Dearka smiled at her sympathetically. She had been through alot in the past year. Much of it was his fault. All because he was part of a mission that destroyed her home.

"Down there. That's the island." He informed her. "See that crater that's where my BUSTER went down" He pointed to the small island still far in the distance. It's landscape was forever changed, as they were, by the battle that took place there.

"Then that is where we'll land"

"But Tolle went down on the other side of the island."

"This is your journey too Dearka. We'll land there and then walk to the other side."

"That could take half a day!" He replied not really wanting to spend that much time there. He didn't like that they were going to that island. He couldn't help but still have a bruised ego when it came to it. It was after all the place he nearly died at the hands of the ARCHANGEL. When he finally lost a battle he fought for months.

"Then so be it. We both need this. One year Dearka. That's how long we will be traveling around the world going from battlefield to battlefield. We have no right documenting them if we can't handle our own demons. Call it therapy"

"Sorry Miriallia but I've already concorded my demons when it comes to the war. If you need to fight yours then go for it. You should just land on the other side."

"No thank you." She replied smirking at him. "I'm the one in control this time. I say where and when we go." With that Miriallia landed the small fighter jet down in the large crater. She go out and reluctantly Dearka followed. She looked around. She couldn't believe how deep it was. "It didn't seem this big when I was in the ARCHANGEL."

Dearka didn't seem to listen to her. Instead he walked around a bit. Debris was still everywhere. Orb officials never bothered to go to this side of the island. She watched as he leaned down and looked at a hunk of metal. He dusted it off to reveal some writing. It was an insignia. It was a piece of the BUSTER that had been blasted off. "I thought I was going to die. Rain was pouring down from the sky. I was so angry." He said finally.

"I still remember when you surrendered. It was before Tolle…" She paused for a second before shaking her head to erase the thought. "We were all shocked. It was the first time we saw your face. The first time we realized how young the people we were fighting actually were." She looked back behind her up at where she and the ARCHANGEL had been that day. "Why did you do it? Why did you surrender?" She asked looking back at him.

"I knew the controls we shot. Sparks were flying everywhere and the ARCHANGEL was targeting me. We had just lost Nicol. And the pain of that cut deep. I guess I wasn't ready to join him, even if it meant my pride."

"I'm glad" She said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"I'm glad you surrendered. If you didn't we would have never met. I… I like having you around." She admitted blushing.

He smiled back at her. "So we going to stay in this hole all day or are we going to start our journey to the other side?"

"Let's go" They walked in silence for over an hour. Dearka carried most of their supplies on his back. He didn't know how long they would be and just in case he decided to bring the camping gear. "Dearka?"

"Yeah Mir?"

"What did you mean back there, when you said you already had your therapy?" Did you go see a doctor or something"

"Not exactly"

"Then what?" she asked curious.

He looked at her for a minute almost like he was questioning whether to tell her or not. But if he wanted to get closer to her he needed to start letting her in. "After I left Orb I decided to do a little soul searching. Athrun had told me about how after the battle that occurred on this island that he had come across an island that was full of orphans. They had all lost their families to ZAFT soldiers in one way or another. I started to think how many people I must have hurt. So I thought maybe if I helped people… I could maybe start to find peace within myself."

"So Derrick Eastman?"

"He was someone I created so I could help people." He explained. "Most of these people hated coordinators. They took their homes, their loved ones and sometimes so much more. They would have never accepted my help if they knew I was one of them. So I came up with an alias. I told them I was a low ranking officer of the Earth Alliance. I helped to rebuild homes and sometimes bury their dead. I travelled to many parts of Europe for a couple of months helping whoever I could."

"Dearka that's… amazing." she said surprised. She had no idea he had done anything like that.

"Not really. It felt like the right thing to do that's all."

"So… How did you become my bodyguard?"

"Helping people was great but travelling for so long I started to need some money. I thought some kind of security work would be interesting. Then I saw the posting to be a bodyguard and I applied." He could tell she was staring at him. "What? Did I say something wrong?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"No… it's just the longer I'm around you the more I learn that I really don't know anything about you."

"Maybe because I'm not the same guy I was before."

"What do you mean?"

"It's nothing." It seemed every time he started to let her in a bit he would quickly start to shut her out. He was afraid of getting to close. Afraid of getting hurt or doing the hurting. He kept having in the back of his mind that she was a natural and it would never work out. "So… if you don't mind me asking… what was he like?" It was hard for him to ask about him. Tolle was a memory he was and would always be competing against. Mirillia stopped walking and stood still, Like she didn't want to speak. "It's fine… if you don't want to talk about him. But to be honest if you don't want to, then maybe you're not ready to be here."

"No… it's fine." She said before starting to walk again. "Tolle was… He was very laid-back and kind hearted. He liked to joke around a lot. He used to make me smile all the time. Even in the face of all the danger we were in constantly, he tried to keep the mood light whenever possible. He was not only my boyfriend but my best friend and someone I cared for deeply."

"How long were you two together?"

"Actually not that long" She replied. She looked up through the trees. She could see that some of the branches were broken. Most likely from the exchange of gunfire. "We had only started dating about two months before you guys attacked Heliopolis. But… we had been friends since we were kids. You know it's funny"

"What is?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

"I never wanted to date him. He was my best friend. I didn't want to ruin that. I was afraid it wouldn't work out and I would lose what we had forever. But even though we never broke up I still lost him." He could hear the cracking in her voice. She was just making herself sad talking about him.

"Maybe we should change the subject… or stop talking all together for a while?" He asked kindly.

"No… it's nice to talk about him. Even if it hurts. Nobody ever seems to want to talk about him around me. Guess they are afraid I'll fall apart."

"Or maybe they can't handle it themselves" He replied.

"Huh? What do you mean"

"Well you were friends with the guy for years. No doubt your parents developed a relationship with him as well. Besides he was your age. Thinking about his death only serves to remind them how they could have lost you. Then there's your friends. He was their friend also. It probably hurts them to talk about him."

"I suppose you're right"

"War is hard. Everyday you spend wondering if you'll see the sunrise the next day. You fight even if you don't remember what you are fighting for anymore. And when it's all over your left with your life in pieces wondering if they can ever fit back together again or if the big picture has somehow changed. After all you can never really be the person you were before all of it, now can you"

She smiled at him. It wasn't much of a smile but it was all he could ever get out of her. "I guess that is where we both are right now. Trying to put our lives back together."

They looked forward and saw a large clearing. They had been walking for a few hours a finally they were there. It was the place that the STRIKE and the AEGIS fought their final fight. The place the Tolle was killed. "Mir? Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked looking her in the eyes with his very worried ones.

"I've come this far. I need to keep pushing forward"

They walked around looking at the remainder of the debris. There was large blast holes everywhere. It was clear that there was a large power struggle that went on here. Miriallia walked closely beside Dearka. Although she didn't really want to admit it she needed him there. She needed to draw from his strength to get her through this. They both stayed silent, the somber mood and the tension was growing. Dearka didn't know what to say and Miriallia seemed to be in a trance.

It was starting to get late. It was obvious they were going to need to make camp, so he took it upon himself to find a spot away from the main battle ground. Seeing him start to unpack the tent she went over to help him set up. Neither of them liked the idea of sleeping on this island, but it was a little late to leave now.

After it was all set up they headed to the woods to get some firewood. As they reached the tree line Miriallia noticed something reflect the setting sun. She turned her head slightly to the side wondering what it was. Curiosity got the best of her and she walked over to check it out.

"Hey! Miriallia! Where are you going!" He said noticing her leave his side. "It's not safe to wander off like that!" He yelled running towards her. Seeing that she seemed to be frozen he stood beside her concerned. "Mir? Are you okay"

Her eyes were wide and horrified looking. She fell to her knees and she reached her trembling hand out and took hold of the shining object. It was a piece of glass. One side, the side that was facing up, was scratched but clean. But the other side was stained with blood. Dearka looked at her with worry. He knew just as well as she did what that was. It was a piece of Tolle's helmet, stained with his blood. Unable to control her emotions anymore she broke down cry hysterically.

Dearka reached out his hand. He wanted to comfort her, but he knew she needed to cry right now. After a few minutes her sobs started to subside. He knelt down and removed the glass from her hand. He gently placed it back on the ground and offered his hand to her. She accepted and he pulled her to her feet. He pulled her in close into a hug and began to sway back in forth in a comforting manner.

She wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out. Then much to her surprise he started to hum. It was so soothing. Before she knew it he began to sing to her softly. " _The night time fills the sky. Stars alive go floating by, so still the evening air; so warm and soft is everywhere_ " She couldn't believe her ears. " _I see a world in harmony. A world of peace and humanity. Where people walk free, like water in a stream. Flowing on forever more"_

" _Dearka… he's so sweet"_ She thought as she sunk into his warm embrace.

" _The breeze that softly blows. The rasping warm so sweet and low. Upon my cheek I can feel tenderly, a kiss so real."_

" _He really does care about me"_

" _Like the brush of a hand. That I cannot see, the sound of a voice, deep inside of my heart"_ He placed his hand on the back of her head and began gently stroking her hair. " _So I dream of a new day coming for all of the world to see. Lift your eyes and see a new day dawning a dream that will soon come true, the day we've waited for"_

" _Maybe… it's really time to leave you behind Tolle. You're gone. You're never coming back."_ She felt the tears creeping back at the corners of her eyes, but this time she didn't let them fall. " _I need… to stop fighting. I need to embrace the future and all that it can be"_

" _Lift your heart and see a future for us all. The river is our witness as it flows forever more. As it flows, as it flows forever more"_ Dearka continued to hum softly until Miriallia pulled away from him and looked him in the eyes. He smiled down at her sympathetically as she wiped her tears away.

"I… I didn't know you were a singer" She finally said breaking the silence.

"I'm not… not really" He replied nervously. "I mean I can sing. I'm just not a singer"

"In other words your father doesn't approve." She retorted.

"You could say that"

"And what about me?"

"Huh? What about you?"

"Would he approve of your feelings towards me?"

Dearka was nervous. It was the first time they were talking about what happened at their little training session. He had confessed his feelings for her and she basically blew him off. Now here she was questioning him after just losing it over another guy. "There is a lot of things that I do that he doesn't approve of. This is my life. I'll live it the way I want to. He doesn't rule my decisions"

"Good" She replied before getting on her tippy toes and kissing him. He was surprised at first before he closed his eyes and returned the kiss. She pulled back and a red blush began covering both their faces. Embarrassed they both looked away from each other. "I want… to stop living in the past. I know he is never coming back. If I keep holding on to him like this I'll miss out on something that could end up being more important to me." She looked back towards him and he did the same. "I-I have feelings for you too Dearka… I think they might be stronger than any reasons we have to stay apart. I don't want to pretend anymore that they don't exist. Because it getting harder to hold back."

"Miriallia… are you sure you are ready to be with someone else?"

"Are you saying you don't want this?"

"I'm saying you're still getting over him. Are you really ready to move on or does you heart still belong with him?"

Miriallia looked down at the piece of glass. She knew the real answer. The truth was she had fallen in love with Dearka a long time ago. Back before the final battle, when they first held hands. She wanted to tell him then at she loved him, but the words never came out. It had been a crazy adventure that lead her to this moment. A moment that she even herself had fought against. "We promised each other we would put the past behind us in Alaska. Tolle is my past. He will never be my future, but you could be. I'll never fully be over his death but that doesn't mean there isn't room for you too."

He smiled. "Then let's take things slow." He hugged her tightly before releasing her. "Come on, we need to get that firewood before the sun goes down."

 **A/N: The song Dearka sings to Miriallia in this chapter is Lacus Clyne's Water of evidence in case you want to check it out.**


	9. Chapter VIII: Tensions in the Streets

**Chapter VIII:** **Tensions in the Streets**

A couple of months had past since Dearka and Miriallia had started their awkward little relationship. They made it through many major life events since deciding to start seeing each other as more than bodyguard and protecti. They celebrated both Miriallia's 17th birthday and his 18th. They watched proudly on their computer as the peace treaty was signed at the remains of Junius Seven. And they both shared moments of silence on each of the anniversary of Nicol and Tolle's deaths.

But through all of this they still hadn't fully defined their relationship. She had never called him her boyfriend and he never called her his girlfriend. Not that they could say it to anyone. In the past few months they rarely saw anyone else. There was their chats with Frederic every few days, Miriallia's weekly email updates to her parents, and then there was the supply runs in the nearest cities every few weeks. But it wasn't like they would tell any of those they were in contact with of this… whatever it was.

Maybe it was because they thought nobody would approve. Frederic had already lectured them about it before they left Paris a few months before. So he would be disappointed to find out for sure. As for Miriallia's parents she was pretty sure they would be opposed to it as well. Especially if they knew he was now sharing a sleeping bag with her every night. It was definitely a bonus part of their relationship for Dearka. Before he didn't feel right even sleeping in the tent with her and spent every night outside under the stars. Now he spent every night sleeping cuddled up to _his_ girl.

It was funny how things changed. Even their supply runs slowly started to change over time. They began to get more comfortable with each other and started to joke and laugh with one another. Dearka soon came to loved it. It was the first time he was really seeing Miriallia smile so bright and sincerely. She truly was happy. It was definitely one of his favorite parts of their supply runs. What he didn't like was how slow she was picking stuff out.

"They are all apples" He said un-amused at how long she was talking. "They all look the same, they all taste the same. Do you really need to inspect them so closely? Besides they are just going to rot in a few days, why bother buying a bunch?"

She looked at him a bit ticked off. She hated when he acted like this. "I thought it might be nice to get you eating something healthy."

"Practically all I eat is the fish we catch, what's so unhealthy about that?"

"Nothing I just thought maybe some fruits and vegetables would be good for you. Besides your muscle tone seems to be going down a bit. You might want to watch your nutrition a bit more" She lectured.

He rolled his eyes at her annoyed, just like a little kid talking to his mother. "It has nothing to do with nutrition. All I do it fly that stupid jet around and then watch you take pictures. The most action and 'training' I get is gathering firewood every night and your self defense classes. It takes a lot of hard work to maintain a perfectly sculpted body like this" He joked.

She paid of the groceries from the outside market and shoved the bags towards him giving him a dirty look. "Then why not quit" She said seriously. "I can always get a new bodyguard, then you can focus on getting that perfect body back" She began walking away from him trying not to let him see her face.

"Hey wait! I didn't mean-" He tried to defend himself while chasing her down, but when he got to her he noticed she was trying not to laugh. He smiled at her. "You know, you're kind of mean when you want to be. Not nice to mess with me like that"

"You should be use to it by now. We have been traveling together for six months now" She replied giving him a kiss on the cheek as an apologie.

"Seems like yesterday that we were on the ARCHANGEL"

"Sometimes it almost feels like it was all just a dream… or nightmare" She said sadly. He took hold of her hand and she smiled. They started to walk back towards the hotel when they noticed a large crowd gathered across the street. They seemed angry, almost like it was a mob forming. "What's going on there?" She asked before she saw a man standing on a platform addressing the crowd, it was then she noticed the large gun.

"We can not stand for this injustice any longer!" he yelled. He held a gun up into the air. "Coordinators and naturals living in harmony is a wrong that needs to be righted! This peace is sham. Orb and those who support its ideals deserve to met the same fate as _**all**_ coordinators! They need to be eliminated, erased from existence. Peace can not exist until every last one of them is dead!"

Miriallia was shocked at what was going on. Some people even seemed to be agreeing with the man, while others were yelling that he was insane. Scared and worried Miriallia looked over at Dearka for support only to become more worried. She knew that face. She had seen it once before. When he was surrendering to the ARCHANGEL. It was a mix of hate and anger. He was gripping that bags so tightly she thought they would explode, before he dropped them and started forcing his way through the crowd.

"Dear- DERRICK! Stop!" She yelled after him panicked. She pushed her way to the front of the crowd and watched Dearka launch himself up onto the stage. Seeing Dearka as a threat to his beliefs the man turned the gun on him. Dearka reached for the gun quickly. But in the struggle the gun fired. "Derrick!" Miriallia screamed horrified. He was shot in the arm, but he still managed to get the gun away from the assailant as he pushed him down on the ground. He held the gun towards the man before turning to lock eyes with Miriallia for a few seconds. He could see how scared she was.

"This man understands nothing. He doesn't understand what it is to sacrifice everything in the name of peace. How many people have to die before you people can accept what they all died in order to bring? One hundred? A thousand? Would the death of every coordinator truly bring you happiness?" He demanded. "If you really think that then let me tell you a story of two boys. Nicol and Tolle. Nicol was fifteen years old. He loved to play the piano. He dreamed of someday writing his own symphony, something he worked on in his spare time. He joined to military to protect his home and his family. He thought he was doing his part to bring peace to everyone. As for Tolle, he was sixteen years old. He was laid-back and kind hearted. He liked to joke around and always tried to keep the mood of those around him as happy as possible. He loved to make his girlfriend smile." He said looking down at Miriallia. He could tell she was surprised at what he was doing, of course he was surprising himself. "He joined the military to protect her and his friends. Because he knew it was the right thing to do. They both died in this war. They died trying in their own way to bring peace. Nicol was a coordinator and member of ZAFT. Tolle was natural and member of the Earth Alliance. They were enemies. Nicol was killed by a comrade of Tolle's. Because of his death in the next battle Nicol's comrades killed Tolle. But it never brought Nicol back nor did it make losing him any easier for them. They both died what seems like pointless deaths. Just two more names added to the total of losses this war created. But their deaths did achieved something. It sparked a rebellion. From ashes of their loss came the fuel needed to start something great. The war changed that day. It was the start of the end. Coordinators and naturals began to fight together in a rebel alliance that ended the war. Today we stand here in an Era of peace built on the blood of those who were lost in this great war. Natural or coordinator we are all the same. We are all just people wishing to live in peace. Wishing to be happy. So why keep fighting?" He looked down at the man in disgust. He didn't doubt for a second that the old him would have shot this man long ago. If not for his words but at least for shooting him first. "Don't let all those who died in this war be in vain." He finished before moving the gun from being pointed at the man. He opened it and removed the bullets before breaking the gun on his knee. Everyone looked up at him in awe unsure of what to do next.

 **Later in the Hotel**

"Ow! Dammit! Easy! That hurts" He yelled as Miriallia tightly bandaged up his injured arm. He refused to go to a hospital claiming he didn't need to despite losing a fair amount of blood.

"Serves you right!" She said angry as she finished up. "What were you thinking! You shouldn't be so reckless! You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"It's fine, nothing bad happened. And I stopped something possibly worst from occurring. It was for the best"

"It's not fine! You were shot" she argued.

"It's nothing" he snapped back getting angry now too.

"It's not nothing, it went straight through your arm"

"Which means there is no bullet lodged in there to cause any infection down the road. It's no big deal, it will heal. It all worked out didn't it"

"And what would you have done if the police didn't arrive when they did? Or if they had caught you? It would take them long to realize that Derrick Eastman doesn't exist."

"Derrick Eastman does exist. Or at least there is a paper trail of his so called existence. Do you really think I could be a bodyguard without a background check." He said smugly raising an eyebrow. This only angered her more.

"Stop it!" She yelled. "Why are being so stupid? What if I lost you"

"I told you that I'm fine just what hell is you problem Miriallia?!" He yelled standing up quickly.

Without thinking she yelled back at him the words she didn't have the courage to say many months before. "I can't lose someone else I love!" Shocked at her own words she gasped and cover her mouth. She could see how shocked he was to hear those words. She had never seen his eyes opened so wide. "Please" She begged tears at the corners of her eyes. "Forget that I sa-"

Before she could finish speaking Dearka pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. He had never kissed her like that before. She sunk in accepting and enjoying every bit of butterflies and tingles she felt. He pulled away and looked he in the eyes for a few seconds. They were both breathing heavily. "I can't" He said slowly. "I can't forget your words. But I'll accept that they were too soon for you"

It was her turn to ambush him with a passionate kiss. She grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him down until their lips met. He decide to one up her and he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Gently he laid her down on her side, leaning on his good arm as they continued to make out. Miriallia couldn't believe the feelings building up inside her. She had never felt this way before. Was it possible she was surpassing where she was with Tolle?

Dearka wanted her more than he had every wanted any girl in the past. But he couldn't just take what he wanted, even if what he wanted was right there in his arms. As he kissed her more he felt Miriallia take hold of his hand. Slowly, as to not hurt him, she guided his hand to her thigh. He couldn't help but notice how warm it was. She started to push it up until his hand was up her skirt, never once stopping the kissing. He was surprised how nervous he was. She wasn't the first girl he had done this with, but maybe it was because she was the first girl that really mattered to him. The first girl who told him they loved him and really meant it. Even if it was blurted out in the heat of the moment.

He pulled away from her and looked at her slender body below him. He then leaned down and kissed her neck. She moaned his name softly. He smiled hearing her say his name like that. She she sat up. Thinking she wanted to stop he sat up too, only to be surprised when she stood up and began to undress in front of him. There standing before him was a vision of beauty. Her naked body was more perfect than he could have imagined.

"Your turn" She said nervously. He stood up, he was already shirtless from her playing doctor earlier which meant he didn't have much standing between him and being fully naked with her. He took a deep breath and undid his belt buckle. Slowly he unbuttoned his pants and in one move pulled down his boxers and pants. He was now just as naked as her.

They both stood there admiring each other. Their hearts feeling like they were going to pound out of their chests. They both knew in that moment what was about to happen. There was no going back after what they were about to do. Their relationship was about to be taken to a new level, a new level that was more real than anything before it. They didn't know if they were ready but it didn't matter. They both wanted this and nothing could stop them from getting the satisfaction they were both now craving.


	10. Chapter IX: Doctor Visit

**Chapter IX: Doctor Visit**

Dearka woke up to the warm sun shining in the window. It was morning. His arm felt sore and he could tell there was something on his chest. Opening his eyes he started to remember the events of the previous day. He had stopped a riot from from starting in the streets, getting shot in the process. Miriallia had bandaged him up causing a fight. She told him she loved him, and they made passionate love most of the night. He looked down at her peacefully sleeping. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she was.

He looked over at his arm and frowned. There was blood on the pillows. He wound must have open in the night. He couldn't help but think about the hotel bill being hiked up to cover the cost of new ones. He sighed deeply. It was worth it. After all if it wasn't for getting shot he wouldn't be laying here with her in his arms.

Miriallia began to move and moan slightly as she began to wake up. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at the naked man she was sleeping on. "Morning" She groaned groody.

"Morning sleepy head" He joked smiling at her.

She blushed when she realized how naked they both still were. It was funny how brave and ok she was being naked in front of him the night before, now she was embraced and her face was turning bright red. "Ummm… What time is it?" She asked trying to avoid thinking about what was under the sheets next to her.

He was about to turn his head to look at the clock when their computer began to ring. They both looked at each other panicked. They knew exactly who it was. It was the same person it always was… their employer. Suddenly neither of them cared how naked they were or the embarrassed feelings that may come with it. They just needed to get dressed as quickly as possible and answer that call. "Dammit! He called yesterday! He never calls two days in a row" Dearka said frustrated as he picked up his pants. His arm was starting to bleed. He looked like a mess.

She pulled a sundress on not bothering with a bra or underwear. "Just get in the bathroom! Get dressed in there and clean yourself up!" She demanded. As she passed the mirror she quickly fixed her hair. Once Dearka was out of sight she answered the call. "Hi Frederick. Sorry it took so long to answer. I was starting to pack up" She lied.

"Miriallia I'm so glad to see you're ok. I heard about the situation that occurred yesterday where you both are."

"You hear about that!" She said surprised.

"It is all over the news. A mysterious man stopped a dangerous riot from starting. Even getting shot in the process." He could see Miriallia had a strange look on her face. Like she was trying to hide something. "Miss Haww what is going on?"

"Derrick… He was the mysterious man" She informed him.

"What?!" He said shocked. "Is Derrick alright! What did the doctors say?"

"He's fine given the circumstances. But he hasn't seen a doctor."

"Miriallia, he needs to see a doctor. Getting shot isn't something to be taken lightly."

"I know. But he says he's fine. He doesn't want to go to a doctor."

"Please let me speak with him" It was rare that Frederic asked to speak with him. Infact Miriallia couldn't remember the last time they spoke.

"Of course. Let me go get him" Miriallia stood up and headed to the bathroom. Dearka was now dressed and attempting to re-wrap his arm. She took hold of the bandages and helped him. "He wants to speak with you"

"Are you serious. Now?"

"Yes. He wants you to see a doctor."

"Miriallia, I don-"

"I know you don't want to. But I'm not the one you need to argue with." She said as she finished wrapping his arm. She help him to his feet and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on, go talk with him.

Dearka sat down in front of the computer and looked at Frederic. He could see the stern look on his face. He suddenly felt a lecture coming on. "Hey Fred" He said saluting.

"Derrick this is no time for jokes. This is serious business"

"I'm Fi-"

"I don't care what you are telling yourself." Dearka was starting to get irritated with being cut off all the time, not to mention nobody believing him when he said he was fine. "I'm sorry but this is not only for your own good but for the safety of Miss Haww. It is your job to protect her. That is the only reason you are traveling with her. You are injured and I'm sure you won't deny that at least."

"Yes" he replied almost nervous.

"Then we need you to be properly checked out by a doctor. Otherwise we will need to terminate your employment and hire someone new to protect Miss Haww. We need to know that your ability to protect her is not compromised. If you can't provide proof of that then we will need to find a replacement. It's not ideal, certainly not halfway through the assignment, but we will do what is needed."

Dearka was mad that he would even suggest that. The idea of some other guy protecting and travelling with his girl the next six months disgusted him. Realizing he had no choice he finally agreed. "Fine. If you need proof that I'm fine, I'll go to the doctor."

"Thank you Mr. Eastman. I'd like to speak with Miss Haww now" Dearka stood up and face Mir for a second. She could tell he was mad at losing but she was happy. She was worried about him. She sat down and looked at the computer. "I want you to go with him. Get the doctor to write us a confirmation note that he can complete his duties to the full extent."

"Of course. I'll take him right away. You'll have his results by this afternoon, tonight at the latest." She promised.

 **The Doctor's office**

Dearka sat on the bed waiting for the doctor to arrive. It didn't take them long to get through the steps in the emergency room. Turned out gunshot victims were on a 'top priority' list. Miriallia couldn't help but point out that if it was on a list like that chances are seeing a doctor was the smart decision. Miriallia watched him fidget around. He seemed uneasy. It worried her. She was about to ask him what was wrong when the doctor walked in reading Dearka chart.

"Hello Mr Eastman. I'm Dr. Samson. So I see by your chart that you were shot yesterday. Any particular reason you waited til today to get checked out"

"To be honest doc I'm fine. It was a clean shot. The bullet is long gone."

"You're tough." The doctor replied. "Former military I take it"

"Yes, I was with the Earth Alliance during the war. I was discharged after the ceasefire." He lied.

"Figures. You military boys always seem to think you're fine when you get hurt. When in a war a wound like this you may consider fine and soldier on but in the real world it something you shouldn't ignore." He explained. He set his chart down on the counter and walked up to Dearka. He placed his hands on the bandage that was already soaked in blood and started to remove it. "Let see what we are dealing with here" He looked the arm over a few times from different angles. Before giving his recommendation. "Well it is a clean shot that is for sure but it's going to need stitches. They are deep wounds and without be closed up properly you're just going to keep bleeding large amounts. It's better that we take care of this correctly." He insisted.

"I guess. Whatever you think is best" He replied.

He walked over to the wall and picked up a phone to call for a nurse's assistance. Soon a young woman came in and the doctor asked her to clean his wound. Once finished she took the soiled bandages and wipes out with her. The doctor picked up a needle and walk towards Dearka. "This is going to pinch a bit and then you're whole arm will freeze" The doctor explained before shoving the needle in. "It should take a couple minutes to take effect." While the doctor waited he gathered his supplies for stitching up his injury. "Ok how is it feeling now? Do it feel frozen?"

"Ahh… Yeah" He said.

"Ok then. Let's get this show on the road." Miriallia didn't want to watch him get sewn up. It actually made her a bit queasy but she couldn't help but notice Dearka was acting strange. He seemed to be focusing on breathing, he looked pale. She stared at him, and he stared back. Something was wrong. She could tell it was. "There that should do it" He said finishing the last stitch. Dearka started to gain the color back in his face, relieved it was over.

"Umm… Doctor. Derrick's employer was hoping you could write a confirmation note stating that he was fit to work. You see he is a bodyguard and if you don't clear him they will have to hire someone to replace him"

"Of course. I see no reason he can't continue to work. You two wait here. I'll go to my office and write you that note. You two just relax. I won't be long."

Once the doctor left the room Miriallia turned to Dearka. "Are you okay. You looked terrible!"

"Thanks hun" He joked.

"Sorry… but you looked like you were in pain"

"You would be too if you had a needle going in and out of you."

"But… he froze you." She replied confused.

"Well that's the thing you see. Due the the difference in our genetic make up the freezing agent use on naturals doesn't work on coordinators. There is one that for coordinators but…"

"Derrick Eastman is a natural. So if he asked for the other one they would question it. That's why you didn't want to come to the hospital. You were afraid you cover would be blown. That you wouldn't be able to take the pain"

"Exactly. I can handle a lot when it comes to pain but when you trying to act like you don't even feel it, it can feel impossible."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told Frederic it was you"

"No… it's fine. The pain… it was all worth it as long as I get to keep protecting you." He said smiling at his girl. "No guy wants someone else protecting his girlfriend."

She blushed at his words. "Y-You just called me your girlfriend."

"That's what you are… aren't you?" He asked now unsure if he should have said that.

"Yes. I am" She smiled, receiving a smile back from him.

"Okay Mr. Eastman" The doctor said as he entered the room once again. "Here is the note for your employer" He said handing the note to Miriallia. "And this is a prescription for pain medication should you need it" He said handing a piece of paper to Dearka. He looked at it few a few seconds frowning before putting it in his pocket. Miriallia felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. They seemed to be in a staring contest. Neither one giving in. They didn't seem angry, she wasn't sure what they were other then bugging her.

"Uhhh… Derrick? We should get going" She insisted.

"Right" He said without breaking eye contact.

"Don't forget your prescription it's very important." The doctor said in an ominous tone.

"I'm sure he won't" Miriallia said taking hold of Dearka's hand to pull him out of the room. They began walking down the hall. Once they were a good distance away she started to talk. "That guy was starting to give me the willies." She said joking. "But I'm guessing that prescription is no good to you, just like the needle was?" She asked tilting her head.

"Yeah. Guess that is the downside of lying about who you are."

"Yeah, I suppose it is"

After they finished with the doctor they returned to the hotel. Dearka began to pack things up while Miriallia emailed Frederic the results as well as a copy of the doctors notes clearing Dearka for duty. It was a relief to know that nobody else would be protecting her. After all, now that they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend she didn't want anyone else by her side. Once they check out they returned to the Earth Alliance base they had landed at the day before and launched, heading towards their next destination.

The next place was over a 10 hours away. After flying for half that Dearka decided they should make camp so he could rest his arm. They landed on a small inhabited island. Once they landed they did what they always did. Miriallia set up the tent while he gathered firewood and confirmed the safety of the site. He then built a fire. But unlike every other time Miriallia invited him into the tent to enjoy the same thing they had the night before. Turned out the thought of him not protecting her really made her want him more.

The next morning Dearka woke up to a sight he was really enjoying getting use to. He was also happy to see that this time he didn't cover the bed in blood. He tried his best to get up without disturbing his girlfriend to no avail. She started to groan as he moved her.

"Sorry. Go back to sleep hun" He insited.

"Where are you going?" She asked rubbing her eye.

"Thought I would take a dip in the sea. The salt water is good for my wound. We'll be taking off soon but take your time getting up. You can start packing whenever you feel like it" He said before leaning down and kiss her. She smiled at him and watched as he left the tent with a towel draped over his shoulder, his naked body almost completely exposed.

She smiled to herself and rolled over to get couple more minutes of sleep. Before she could close her eyes she noticed something. Two pieces of paper that had fallen out of Dearka's pants pocket. She sat up. She could see that one of them had the hospital letterhead on it. It must have been the paper the doctor gave him. But it looked like more writing than any prescription she had ever seen. Curious she picked it up. She was shocked by what she read:n the one the doctor gave him. But it looked like more writing than any prescription she had ever seen. Curious she picked it up. She was shocked by what she read:

* * *

 _Derrick,_

 _I'd like to thank you for what you did yesterday. It shows a tremendous amount of bravery on your part especially considering what you risked. I don't know why you are choosing to hide or what you are hiding from. But a coordinator pretending to be a natural is a hard rouse to keep up. The price of your secret could be more than you're willing to pay._

 _Your girlfriend seems to care for you dearly. I don't know if she knows of the truth of what you are but it doesn't matter. If the wrong person discovers it she could be the collateral damage. Things like yesterday, although you may feel you are doing the right thing, it could cost you everything. Take it from a man who's lost everything trying to keep the same secret. Lies are weight that will hold you back as long as you chose to keep them. You and Miriallia will never last if you chose to keep being a walking fraud._

 _You are a soldier at heart, not a bodyguard. You are meant to protect a nation not a single person. You'll never find happiness until you realize that. This peace will never last. That was just a taste of what is to come. When it all starts again, where will you find yourself? As Derrick Eastman the bodyguard or a soldier in the military you truly belong in. Will you become the enemy of the woman you care about or keep ignoring who you really are?_

 _I wish you luck, and pray you make the right decision for both of you._

* * *

She couldn't believe it. The whole time the doctor knew. Not only that but he seemed to be warning Dearka. She knew Dearka was running from something. It was clear in the way is dodged many questions. But she knew him, or at least she thought she did. But for a stranger to figure out all this, was Dearka starting down a dangerous path he couldn't come back from?

She put the note back in his pocket. She then looked down at the other piece of paper. It looked like he had been carrying it around for a while. It seem worn and discolored. Picking it up she unfolded it. She was surprised to see it was a voucher for a one way shuttle to the PLANTs. It was issued the day she got the job at the magazine, with no expiry date. Was he planning on leaving her? Was this an escape root for him to take if things got too difficult? She didn't want to even think about it.

She shook her head trying to clear her mind of those thoughts. She leaned over and started to put it back in his pocket. But she hesitated. Instead she decided to keep it. She didn't need Dearka having another reason to leave her. They were already in a relationship that many would believe to be doomed to fail. As guilty as she felt hiding this voucher from him, she couldn't help but feel right doing it. Once it was safely tucked away she decided to join her boyfriend out in the water, and maybe even have a little fun before the took flight once again.


	11. Chapter X: First Date

**Chapter X: First Date**

Miriallia sat at her computer looking through the pictures she had taken the past two days. A lot was weighing on her mind. She couldn't get the letter or the voucher out of her head. She wanted to confront Dearka about them but she didn't think it was her place. There was a reason he was hiding them from her, then again maybe it wasn't for good reasons. As long as he was hiding things from her they could never truly be in a good relationship. But then again she was lying about seeing those things, and she also stole his voucher. Maybe in reality she was no better than him.

Then there was the incident during their last supply run. In the past few days she had started to really get mad about it. Dearka could have died. He got himself hurt. She couldn't help but question his decision that day. It caused a great deal of tension between them. So much so that he had been once again sleeping outside the tent like he had before they started seeing each other.

She could hear him outside now. He was banging and crashing around. She shook her head in frustration. What the hell was he doing out there anyway? It was causing her to lose her concentration, not that she was very focused on her work anyway. Finally fed up with the noise she was about to go yell at him when he entered the tent. She sunk back down in her seat and looked up at him disapprovingly. He just smiled at her trying to get her to respond back with one, to no avail. She just pouted.

"Still mad I see…"

"You could have died. It was reckless" She replied as she stared him down.

"Reckless or not it was the right thing to do" He argued.

"And what makes you think that?"

"Do I really need to explain?" He asked irritated. But from the facial expression he received he knew it was a resounding yes. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and then sighed heavily giving into her request. "What do you think would have happened if that guy had started shooting some of the people who opposed his views? Or if some of those one his side had started to take action? It would have been chaos, chaos that could have spread quickly throughout the world. News casters and writers have a way of twisting truths. The peace could have crumbled within days."

"And if you were killed what would have happened?" She retorted. "The face of the man killed would have been plastered everywhere. Even if you stopped a riot what would happened if your family found out the you were killed by a group of coordinator hating naturals?"

"Mir…" He said concerned. She was right. His father would turned his attempt at keeping the peace into something ugly. But luckily that didn't happen. "It wasn't suppose to be like this" He said sadly.

Miriallia tilted her head confused. "What do you mean?"

"The supply run. I didn't expect everything to go the way it did. And I especially didn't think the night would go the way it did… not that I'm complaining about that part." He said smirking devilishly before changing to a serious face. "Listen let's start over, forget about that day. You're never going to think I did the right thing. To you all you saw was the possibility of losing someone else you care about. And all I saw was everything I fought for, everything you and all our friends fought for, being taken away by someone who didn't understand what was sacrificed for this peace."

"If I say yes, then where do we go from here?" She asked curious.

He smiled as if he was waiting for her to ask that. He reached out his hand to her. "You follow me" He said in a husky voice. She hesitated for a moment before taking his hand. She followed him as he pulled her towards the opening of the tent. Once outside she couldn't help but gasp in surprise. There outside the tent was one of the most romantic things she had ever seen. He had created a candlelit dinner experience in the middle of nowhere. She was speechless. "It occurred to me that you and I have been together for a few months now and haven't really had the opportunity for a first date. So… The day I was shot we actually had reservations at a five star restaurant in town."

She looked up at him surprised. She had no idea he had planned anything like that. "You're… not at all the guy I thought you were when we first met."

"I was exactly who you thought I was when we met. I was a horrible guy, I didn't deserve a girl like you back then. But I hope that maybe I'm starting to deserve you now." He said sweetly.

She nodded smiling at him. "Yes… you are" She kissed him for the first time in a few days and he hugged her tightly, happy to finally be back on her good side. He then lead her over to the ground where they sat around a table he made out of twigs and broken tree branches he found in the woods. She could help but think about how resourceful the young coordinator was. "Mmmm.. something smells wonderful" She said before he placed two bowls of stew on the table.

"I thought some vegetable stew was in order, since someone seems to think I needed to eat more veggies" He joked.

She giggle slightly at him. He then took a bottle of wine out of a bag and two glasses. He poured them each a glass and handed one to her before sitting down. "Wine?"

"It's a special occasion isn't it?"

"Is it?"

"I thought maybe we could hit restart on all of this. Forget the ARCHANGEL, forget the war and everything else. I'm just a guy on a first date with his girl."

"So what do you propose we do from here?"

"I was thinking we could enjoy this meal I prepared us and maybe we could ask some get to know you questions."

"Sounds like a great evening." She said as she took a spoonful of the stew. Her eyes open wide with delight. "This is amazing!" She squealed.

He laughed at her a bit. "My mother's speciality." He answered. She was a little surprised he actually said something somewhat family related. Especially since it was always a hot topic with him. "So why don't we get the Q&A started." He said smiling. "Ask away"

Miriallia thought for a second before asking her first question, just as Dearka was taking a sip of wine. "When did you lose your virginity?" She asked causing him to choke on his drink.

"Wha-you can't seriously want to know that!" He said panicked.

She laughed at his reaction. "Well Mr. Elsman, you know you should really set some ground rules before letting me ask whatever I want" She joked. "But judging by you defensive reaction, I'd say I was certainly not your first."

He stared at her jaw nearly on the ground before getting a hold of himself. "You know I could turn it around and ask you the same thing."

"You don't have to. You already know exactly when that happened." He looked at her shocked. He didn't realize that he had been her first. "How about a different question. You're an ace pilot, master marksman, a great martial artist, intelligent, and amazing singer, a good cook… is there anything you can't do?" She asked.

"Relationships." He answered bluntly. "This is my first relationship really. I've never really been in one before. And I have to say I feel like I'm really messing it up sometimes."

"You're not. You're doing great." She replied sympathetically.

"If I was doing fine on would have slept on the proverbial couch the past few nights."

"Sorry"

"Nah, it's okay." He said brushing it off. "So I guess it's my turn to ask you something."

"Be easy on me" She pleaded jokingly.

"What's the hardest thing you've ever done?"

She looked deep in thought. She seemed to be really thinking about his question before finally answering. "When I left Orb to interview for this job. I was so scared that someone would talk me out of it that I didn't even tell anyone I was leaving. I just left a note. I didn't think I was good enough or brave enough to do it. But… I guess I've proved myself wrong. I can't believe what an amazing experience this has all been. The hardest thing in my life has suddenly become the easiest."

"I'm glad nobody talked you out of it. I can honestly say these have been the best few months of my life… give or take a few days" He said looking down at his injured arm. "So next question?"

"Right. Umm… What is your guilty pleasure?"

He looked embarrassed, even hesitant. "I like Japanese style dancing." He replied in a hush tone with a red blush crossing his cheeks.

"You mean watching it or performing?" She questioned way to eagerly.

"... both" He said regretfully.

She giggled gleefully "So, would this be on the list of things you are good at?"

"Ok, I think that it enough talking about that" He said hoping to change the subject. "Why don't you tell me about your favorite childhood memory?"

"My favorite childhood memory?"

"Yeah. You had a life before the war. Before everything in the world around you started to get complicated. So in that past what was something you could never forget because you can't help but cherish it?"

She thought for a moment before answering him. "When I was little, about 6 or 7, my parents and I were at a festival. I can't remember what it was for but what I do remember was it was the first time I saw the night sky. I always use to fall asleep before dark. I looked up and I saw these strange things, like hourglasses in the sky. I asked my mother what they were. She told me it was where special princes and princesses lived. They were magical beings with extraordinary abilities that traveled there to be safe from all those who seeked to harm them. And if I was ever lucky enough to meet one of them that I should treat them with kindness and love. I can remember on sleepless nights looking up to the sky wishing one of the princes would come and be my knight and shining armor. I never thought when I grew up it would come true."

"You think I'm some kind of knight?"

"Since I released you from your cell you've always protected me in your own way. You deflected from ZAFT, whether that was anything to do with me or not you saved my life more time than I could count. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here now enjoying this amazing dinner under the same night sky I did so many years ago at that festival."

He smiled at her. "You are a very insightful girl. Very mature for your age. But I guess age, true age, is built in experiences not necessarily years."

"Thanks" She replied a little embarrassed. "Well Mr. Elsman, you're a brave soldier. You've face death head on hundreds of times and never seemed to flinch. So what exactly are you afraid of?"

He looked at her and frowned. "Becoming my father." He said emotionless.

"What?" She replied without thinking.

He broke eye contact for the first time that night. He didn't really want to answer but he didn't want to lie to her either. It was his chance to start over. "There is a reason I don't like talking about my father. I don't want to be him. He always put politics before family. He treated me like a burden. No matter what I did it always seemed to disappoint him. When I decided to join the military I thought finally I would make him proud of me. But he wasn't he wanted me to quit. We got into an argument that escalated much more quickly than I expected it to. I stormed off and packed my bags. That was the last time I was ever in my parents house."

"You never went home again?" She asked in a sad tone.

"Too much was said. I needed time. I went through the academy hoping that he would be proud of me when I finished, but again he just seemed to disapprove. I've never seen him since." He admitted.

"How long has it been?"

"Two? Maybe three years?" He said unsure.

"Really!" She was surprised.

"It's funny I cut myself off him because I didn't want him in my life. I didn't want to be like him. But the day in the infirmary with you, Sai and that girl, I started to realize how much like him I was becoming. Bitter and full of hate for no reason. After meeting you I started to change, become something much different from him. I could never thank you for that"

"Thank you Dearka"

"For what?"

"Finally letting me in" She said sweetly. "I know talking about your family is hard for you. I've talked almost non stop about mine. But you never seemed to want to talk about them. It's nice to start to understand why."

"It's all part of starting over" He said raising his glass.

"To starting over" She said raising hers to his. They lightly touched the glasses together before taking a drink.

The rest of the night was spent talking about the interest and friends. That night they didn't feel like two ex soldiers. They didn't feel like a bodyguard and a photographer, or a coordinator and natural. They just felt like two ordinary teenagers on their first date, and that meant more to them than anything.


	12. Chapter XI: Desert Disaster

**Chapter XI: Desert Disaster**

It was a strange feeling to know it would soon all be over. Their year together was nearly finished. Today they were heading to the last battlefield they would document. It was in the Sahara in northern Africa. They had landed at an Earth Alliance base and from there they would be driving into the desert to the different coordinates provided. They had scheduled a few weeks for this last part of the assignment. They didn't expect it to take the full amount of time but they wanted the remainder of the time to just enjoy being a regular couple.

They wanted time where she wasn't a girl with a camera glued to her face. Where he wasn't constantly holding a gun checking out every inch of a battlefield. To have a moment in their young relationship where they weren't surrounded by reminders of the death the war caused. Where they could be just teenagers, a boy and a girl who were dating. It didn't seem like too much to ask. Especially considering all the war took from them.

When they landed they officially handed back the SKYGRASPER they had both flown in for a year. It was the last time they would be in that thing. When they finished in the desert they would be flying out in an actual passenger jet. It really seemed like an end leaving it behind.

"Are you going to miss it?" Miriallia asked as they walked toward the garage where their jeep awaited.

"The SKYGRASPER?" He asked unsure.

"Yeah"

"No. It wasn't really my forte, I'm more of the mobile suit kind of guy."

"You haven't piloted one of those in over a year"

"I know. I still like it better. A mobile suit feels like an extension of your own body. It's almost like it's a part of you. But the SKYGRASPER, it feels just like any other vehicle. Something to get you from point A to point B."

"So you really aren't going to miss it"

"I'm not going to miss piloting it. But I am grateful for everything it brought me." He said looking down smiling at her.

"Here we are Derrick" The commander of the base said interrupting the couple from their chitchat. "It is fully fueled and ready to go" He informed them as he set the keys in Dearka's hand. "Just be careful out there. It may be a time of peace but the doesn't mean the desert is safe. Watch out for sandstorms, and most of all don't stay in the sun too long. Especially you Miss Haww. With your pale complexion too much sun exposure could be dangerous."

"I'll be sure to use lots of sunscreen" She said half joking. But the commander didn't seem impressed with her answer.

"This is not a joke Miss Haww. You should take this more seriously." He said in a stern tone.

"I'm sure she is sir" Dearka said politely as he turned to Mir. "We should get going, there is no wind right now. Best time to be traveling in the desert.

"Right." She said nodding. They both saluted the commander before getting into the jeep and driving off. Miriallia watched in the rearview mirror as the base disappeared in the distance. "This is really it. We're heading to the last locations."

"Yeah it's hard to believe"

"It's been an incredible year" She said closing her eyes thinking about the past few months. She opened them and looked forward, as if looking into the future. "So many battlefields, so much tragedy all captured on one little camera."

"The year was filled with more than pain I hope." he said smiling over at her.

"Of course" She said smiling ear to ear as she took hold of his free hand. "I was glad I had you with me. Even if it may have started out a bit rocky."

"So you nervous for after this? When _we_ return to Orb"

"I should be asking you the same thing. You're going to be meeting my parents. Most guys would be at least a little nervous meeting their girlfriend's parents for the first time"

"Well technically it's not the first time. I did kind of meet them the day we returned to Orb from space. Not that there was introductions then, or that I even spoke with them. But still you're the one who should be nervous. You told them they were going to be meeting Derrick Eastman. You really going to keep the lie going?"

"You're not?" She asked confused.

"When we land in Orb Derrick Eastman will disappear forever. He was created for me to hide among naturals who would accept my help, but once I'm back in Orb I don't need to hide anymore."

"Yeah… I suppose you are right" They drove for a few hours deep into the desert. Everything seemed to looked the same. It started to worry Mir. "You sure you know where we are going?" She asked skeptical.

"According to the coordinates it should be just a bit further" he said with confidence. This confidence was wiped away and replaced by a protective anger when suddenly what seemed like a hoard of men came rushing around them with guns. Dearka stopped the vehicle immediately causing it to swivel.

"Ahh" Miriallia screamed from shock as the vehicle whipped around in the sand. A dust cloud hid the jeep for a few seconds before clearing. He looked over towards his girlfriend to see if she was ok. She seemed to be physically but she also seemed very scared.

"Get out of the vehicle NOW!" Shouted one of the men. He seemed to be the leader of the group. He was a tall older man with tanned skin. His hair was long and black pulled back in a ponytail. He wore dark green army pants with a black tank top. The two quickly listened and got out of the jeep. "Hands where I can see them"

Dearka and Miriallia obeyed again. She looked over towards her bodyguard. He had that face again. The one he had when he surrendered to the ARCHANGEL, the once he had before he rushed into the crowd and got himself shot. His face was filled with the anger and hate that scared her to see. She looked back at the men that were holding them at gunpoint, now more scared than before.

"What do you want with us?" Dearka demanded. "We are just two former soldiers, a couple of naturals here to do a job. My name is Derrick Eastman, and this is my colleague Miriallia Haww"

"Bullshit!" The man replied quickly. "You are no natural 'Derrick Eastman'. Give us a fake name all you want, it doesn't fool us. You are a coordinator" He spat.

Dearka's eyes narrowed, he could hear the disgust in the man's voice. This situation wasn't good. His right hand began to almost tremble in the air. He was fighting his soldier instincts. He wanted to grab his gun from his holster, but he knew he would only be putting his girlfriend in danger. "And this matters why?" he replied looking the man in the eyes.

"Do you know what ZAFT has done to us? Done to our people? During the war this area was occupied by them. Countless men lost. Do you really expect us to let some young man lying about himself to coming walking into our territory freely? I wouldn't be a very good leader if I did" He looked at his men and then nodded. "Arrest him"

Horrified Miriallia yelled panicked "Please no! We don't mean any harm! We are not enemies!" She was nudged aside as Dearka was forced to the ground gun to his back. They tied his arms behind him before pulling him up. "Stop! He hasn't done anything wrong!"

"That is for us to decide!" The man said hopping into their jeep. Miriallia looked like she was going to have a panic attack. "Come on girl, Miriallia was it?" He said kind and gently "We can't leave you alone in the desert. That would be just condemning you to death. Get in" he offered. Mir was reluctant. She didn't want to go with him, but then again she didn't want to be left behind. Especially since they had Dearka. She jumped in and they started to head for a new location.

The whole ride was spent in silence. Finally after what seem like hours, but was only about 30 minutes, they arrived at their location. Miriallia instantly recognized it. They were at the Desert Dawn base camp. The place the ARCHANGEL had landed after their battle with Dearka and his comrades. She finally felt a bit hopeful again. She just needed Sahib Ashman, the leader of the Desert Dawn, he could confirm her identity. Maybe then she could convince him to let Dearka go free.

When they parked the jeeps a young girl came to greet them. "Father!" She yelled. She looked similar to the man. She was average height with long black hair pulled back in a braid. Her skin was tanned and her eyes dark brown. "What is going on? Who are these people"

"That young man is a prisoner now. He has refused to give us his true identity. We'll put him in the sun-cell and see how long it takes him to confess. As for the girl she was accompanying him. I didn't think it fair to leave her all alone out there."

"Father how do you know he is lying"

"His eyes, those violet eyes of his, no natural could ever possess eyes like that" Hearing this Mir couldn't help but think of Kira and his violet eyes. Was she a fool for not realizing he was a coordinator or in truth did she know all along and just didn't want to admit it? She started to wish he was here. She couldn't help but think he would know what to do. She hadn't seen him in a year though. She had cut herself off from all her friends when she took this assignment. But maybe it wasn't about the assignment at all. After all she had kept in contact with her family, why couldn't she with her friends? Maybe the truth was she was running away from them. They reminded her of Tolle and all she lost in the time she was a soldier, it was a pain she couldn't bare back then.

"Sahib is not going to like this. We are trying to find peace. Arresting a couple of travelers in the desert isn't going to accomplish that. What is he going to say when he gets back tomorrow?" Miriallia gut sank a little. Sahib was not there. It was mid-morning right now. Dearka would need to stay imprisoned for at least a day. She didn't like the sounds of that. She never wanted to see his face behind bars again. Not now… not now that she knew for sure she was in love with him.

"Evie, it is for the best. He will understand it is for the protection of the people." Convinced he was doing the right thing the man refused to listen to his daughter's advice. Which meant Miriallia had to watch as Dearka was dragged and thrown into a caged in area. It was away from the camps and any sand hills. With no possible shaded areas. They didn't call it a sun-cell for nothing. From sunrise to sunset it would be bathed in the hot sun, and it was there he boyfriend was thrown.

Miriallia refused to leave his side. She ran out and stood beside his cell. This surprised those in the camp. "Miriallia" Dearka said softly as he reached out and held her hand through the bars. "You need to get into the shade, you can't handle this much sun and heat"

"I'll be fine" She said trying to reassure him. "Besides I'm not leaving you here, not alone" She looked over, she could see many in the camp were watching them. They seemed to be whispering about them. She wondered what they were talking about, Dearka could tell she was thinking this.

"They are confused" He informed her.

"Confused? About what?" She asked looking him in the eyes.

"They are convinced I'm a coordinator. But they know you are a natural. Yet here you are holding my hand, refusing to leave my side. Affection between a natural and coordinator is virtually unheard of. So to see it before them it must be confusing"

"Let them be confused" She said angrily with a frown on her face, it quickly faded to a concerned one. "No matter how hot it gets, come hell or high water, I'm staying by your side Derrick" She decided to use his alise when addressing him. She didn't trust that they couldn't hear her. After all it was their cell.

He gently caressed her face his filled with concern too now, only his was for her. "All I want is you to be safe. But I know by now there is no point in arguing with you. Just promise me honey if the heat becomes too much you will find some shade, at least for a little while."

"I promise" she said nodding. She leaned forward and kiss him tenderly. It was almost a desperate kiss. Looking at him she couldn't help but think of him being a prisoner on the ARCHANGEL. Back in those days she was filled with sadness and anger. Now she was just angry. He didn't deserve to be in that cell. Being a coordinator was not reason enough to be imprisoned.

Hours passed as she waited outside his cell. Dearka laid in the middle staring up at the sky. He was lost in his own little world. The heat didn't seem to be bothering him. Miriallia figured it was something to do with his lineage combined with being a coordinator. He was barely breaking a sweat. She on the other hand was drenched in sweat. She couldn't even remember how many times she had reapplied her sunscreen at this point.

She looked over towards the people from the camp. They were sitting in the shade watching her as she paced back and forth. Some were sitting, others were leaning against large wooden crates, but they all seemed to have their arms folded in front of them. Mir shot a disapproving angry look in the direction of the man who brought them their. She didn't know his name, but she did know if she knew it it would be on her list of people she disliked.

As she looked at them she started to notice they were becoming blurry. Her head felt like is was throbbing. Her skin felt dry and free of sweat. She started to feel weak and nauseous. Her breathing was off and she began to stagger a bit. "De-De" She tried to call his name but she seemed to be confused and disoriented. She couldn't manage to even say his name. Luckily Dearka still heard her pleas for him. He sat up just in time to see her collapsed to the ground.

"Mir!" He yelled as he ran to the edge of the cage. The on lookers arms fell to their sides as they watched to events transpiring in front of them. They couldn't help but be surprised. Dearka reached out but she was to far away. Angry he stood up and began to yell at the people watching. "Help her!" He demanded. "She hasn't done anything wrong! Please! Don't let her die like this!" Seeing that they didn't budge he dropped to his knees. "Dammit!" He yelled in frustration before he started to frantically dig. If they weren't going to help her he was going to need to do it himself. Evie watched with the others. She was surprised. She could see just how genuine the young man's pain was. "She just an innocent girl!" he continued to yell. "She shouldn't be punished just because she cares for me!"

Unable to take it anymore Evie sprung into action. The guy was right, she was just an innocent girl. She grabbed the canteen of water off her belt and ran towards Mir. "Evie! What are you doing!" Her father demanded but she didn't reply. When she reached the young unconscious girl she dumped some water over her head before gently lifting her onto her lap. She then slowly poured the rest into her mouth. Dearka stopped digging and watched. He never felt so helpless in his life.

"Don't just stand there!" She yelled at some of the men. "We need to get her to a safe place, and she needs medical attention NOW!" She demanded. They all looked surprised at first but after receiving an approving nod from the girl's father they obeyed.

Dearka watched as they carried Mir out of his sights. He was worried beyond words, beyond comprehension. He had failed her and himself. He had given up everything once and vowed to protect her. It was before he was her boyfriend, and before he was even her bodyguard. It seemed so long ago. Standing on the mountainside in Orb. He watched the ARCHANGEL being attacked. They were sitting ducks, and Mir was with them. He vowed then and there he would always protect her, until his dying breath. But here she was being carried off, and he felt like he did nothing to save her.

It was now night fall. Most everyone was asleep other than a few watchmen. Evie walked around the camp almost studying the routes of the guards. Finally seeing an opening she headed for the sun-cell. There she found Dearka leaning against the bars looking up at the sky. Hearing her approach he glared at her silently for a moment before returning his gaze to the sky.

"Why didn't you escape? You could have if you wanted to so why?"

"Isn' it obvious?" He asked. "I'm not going anywhere without her, especially when she's sick"

"Who are you really?" She asked. "My father says you are lying about being a natural. I didn't believe him at first but… no natural has ever lasted this long in the sun-cell before."

"Why does it matter? Because of what happened in the war? If you people keep focusing on that peace will never last. If you hold onto the pain it will hold you back."

"I agree." Dearka was surprised at her answer. "My father doesn't' believe naturals and coordinators can live in harmony but… you and that girl, you two love each other. You're a coordinator and she a natural. But there is honest true love between the two of you."

Dearka stood up and looked at her. "This isn't a confession" He said. "But just between you and me, I am what he thinks I am. And Miriallia is a natural. I care about her more than anything. I would rather die than see any harm come to her. So promise me you will make sure she get the best care possible."

She reached down to her hollister and much to his surprise pulled out a key. "It must be killing you not to be able to see her right now. I can't take you too her, but you have to be willing to suffer any consequences. Sahib Ashman, he is the leader of the Desert Dawn. He is to return tomorrow morning. You can plead your case to him. But in the meantime, you should be by your girl's side"

"Thank you" He said with a faint smile on his face.

They moved throughout the camp, staying out of the sight of the watchmen. Before long they were in the medical tent Miriallia was in. She was sleeping peacefully. He quickly ran to her side. He placed one hand on hers and the other on her forehead as if her was checking her temperature. She had a fever. He was worried but he could tell she was better than before. They were well equipped to handle treating her.

He turned to thank Evie again but she was gone. Most likely so no one would know she helped him. Deciding to get some sleep he hopped on the other side of the bed and cuddled in next to his girlfriend. Even if she was already asleep he wanted her to feel safe. The night quickly passed as the slept. He had a surprisingly good sleep considering the day they had. Slowly he woke up to the sweet scent of Miriallia's hair. He blinked a few times till his vision came into focus and sat up.

He looked across the tent and was surprised to see a man sitting about five feet from the bed holding a gun towards him. Dearka didn't give him the satisfaction of reacting. He hadn't seen this man before. He was a bit larger the the first man he had met. He had a thick bushy beard and wore a bandana on his head. This must have been the Sahib Ashman Evie spoke of.

Looking away from the man Dearka reached his hand over and felt Mir's forehead. Much to his relief her fever seemed to have gone down quite a bit. He looked back up at the man. "Please thank your men for me." he received a confused look from the man for this comment. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost her. She's… my everything"

"Ahmed tells me he put you in the sun-cell. But here you are this morning. How did you get out? The hole you started to dig is unfinished, which means someone let you out. So who was it"

"Who cares right? After all the point is that I am out now."

"True I suppose" He said. "So tell me who are you?"

"I'll tell you who I am but first you need to tell me who you are. Everyone here seems to be forgetting their manners. None of them have even offered to introduce themselves. Mother always said it was rude not to give your name"

"Yet you told my men your name was Derrick Eastman, a lie they tell me. Is this not against what your mother taught you?"

"She said give my name, she never said it had to be my real name"

"So you admit it's not your real name"

"Like I said you tell me your name and I'll tell you mine"

The man smirked. The boy was oddly calm for someone in his situation. "Name is Sahib Ashman, leader of the Desert Dawn"

Dearka slide off the bed and walked over to stand in front of the man. He tilted his head as if her was trying to gage the situation. Giving his real name was still a gamble, but it may have been one he needed to talk. He grabbed the chair next to Mir's bed and turned it to face Sahib. Sitting down he looked the man in the eye. "It's true my name, my real name, is Dearka Elsman. I'm a coordinator from the PLANTs"

"So what brings you to the desert?"

"This girl laying behind me she is a photographer. She works for a magazine 'L'aventure et Vie'. they hired me to be her bodyguard during her assignment."

"Her assignment?"

"She was contracted to document the battlefields from the war. That was almost a year ago. The desert is our last set of locations."

"Does she know about what you are?"

"She knew me before we started working together." The man looked intrigued. "Do you know about the ship the ARCHANGEL?"

Dearka could see the man was a little surprised. "The crew of the ARCHANGEL spent time here after descending to Earth during the war. They landed here due to a ZAFT crew attacking them. They change trajectories to save one of their pilots." he explained.

"Miriallia was one of the crew members on the ship back then. And I… was one of the ZAFT soldiers that caused them to go off course" He admitted. "But that was the past. When the siege on Orb happened I was a prisoner on their ship. Mir was the one who released me. During the battle I watched as the ARCHANGEL faced certain death. I decided then and there that I couldn't fight with ZAFT, not when it meant fighting against the ARCHANGEL. So I protected them. From that moment on I stayed by it's side until the war ended."

"What makes you think I'll believe your story?" He asked unsure of what Dearka was trying to accomplish.

"You don't have to. It is up to you. Believe me and let us go or consider me a treat to your people and take my life right now. But whatever you choose make sure it is the right choice for you and your people, because once your decision is made there is no going back."

Hearing a groan from behind him Dearka stood up and went to Mir's side. "Dearka?" she moaned as her eyes fluttered open. "Where are we?" She asked seeing him leaning over her.

"Morning. How are you feeling hun?" He asked feeling her forehead once more.

"Tired… a little dizzy"

"That's normal. I'm glad to see your awake." He leaned down and kissed her head before standing up and turning towards the man again.

Miriallia turned her head slowly, but seeing the man she shot up to a sitting position. Ignoring her spinning head she spoke. "Mr. Sahib Ashman!" She yelled surprised.

For the first time he got a good look at the girl. He recognized her. She was one of the pink uniform EAF soldiers that played with the children at the camp. "Tell me girl, who is this young man? I want the truth, tell me the truth and I will make sure you both go free."

"His name is Dearka Elsman. He was a soldier of ZAFT before become a trusted pilot of the Three Ships Alliance." She informed him. "But… if you don't believe me please contact Cagalli Yula Attha, or her bodyguard Kisaka. They can confirm this."

They were both surprised to see him place his gun into his holster and smile. "So you two went from being soldiers to a couple of kids running around the World taking pictures? Must be quite the adventure. I don't know about the other places you visited but the desert is not a place to take lightly. The people here have fought a long time for survival, they don't take kindly to strangers."

"You can say that again" Dearka said sarcastically.

"Give me the coordinates of your locations you need to cover. I will gather you a team to guide you. After the young lady is better of course"

"Thank you Sir. It means alot to us"


	13. Epilogue: Everything Must End

**Epilogue: Everything Must End**

"These pictures are amazing!" Frederic said as he scanned through the years worth of pictures. Hundreds of photos taken at several locations, all summing up one terrible war. "It's going to be a masterpiece. And instant best seller and we have you to thank Miriallia!" He looked over at her but she seemed distracted. "Miss Haww? Are you okay"

"Huh? Yeah… I'm fine." She shook the thoughts from her head and smiled. "I couldn't have done it without Derrick. He kept me out of trouble, and the trouble he couldn't kept me out of he helped me out of. I… I owe him my life in many ways."

"I apologize for the dangers you two faced. We knew it wasn't going to be a safe trip but we never imagined Derrick would get shot or you would suffer heat exhaustion."

"It's fine. We knew it would be dangerous when we signed up. We are both former soldiers, we were prepared for anything."

"Mr Richard was very impressed with the work he's seen so far, I'm sure he'll be over the moon with this. He asked me to offer you a full-time position here of sorts"

"Full-time? In Paris?"

"Well not specifically in Paris. You can live anywhere in the World that you chose to. There is so much reconstruction going on in the World right now. Everywhere that was affected by the war is now rebuilding. We want to be a part of it. And we need a photographer to help document some of these places. It won't be a dangerous this time I promise. You'll only need a bodyguard if you chose to."

"It sounds amazing"

"And opportunity of a lifetime"

"If it's alright with you I'll like some time to decide"

"Take all the time you need. It will be a few weeks before we start planning anything."

"Thank you"

Miriallia and Dearka walked out of L'Aventure et Vie magazine's office. Their assignment was finally over. It was time for them to return to their lives. "You did an amazing job" Dearka said as they exited the building. He looked up at the sky and saw dark clouds had started to gather. "We should get going, looks like it might rain soon" Miriallia didn't say anything, she just looked away. She wouldn't make eye contact with him. "Mir? Is something wrong honey?" Without saying a word she reached into her camera bag and pulled out a piece of paper. She handed it to Dearka. He looked down at it and frowned. It was the voucher Yzak had given him. "Where did you get this?" He asked looking up.

"I found it the morning after you were shot, it fell out of your pocket"

"I'm never going to use it" He said trying to reassure her.

"Yes you are… tonight" she replied sadly.

He smirked and laughed a fake little laugh. "I'm going back to Orb with you. It's what we planned. What we talked about. I'm going to meet your parents remember?"

"And would I ever meet yours?" She asked quickly.

"Mir…" his face became serious.

"Don't… please you know it's true. You could never bring me home. Because the truth is we are still just a natural and a coordinator."

"That doesn't matter to me anymore you know that. I… I've changed. I'm not that guy anymore."

"And what guy is that?" He just looked at her. He was scared of where she was going with this. "Sometimes it feels like I've been with two different guys. The cold and angry guy who makes me feel like I always do everything wrong. And then there is the sweet guy who makes me feel like I'm his everything. The coordinator and the natural. But who is who I don't know. Are you Derrick Eastman or Dearka Elsman. Which one is really which"

Dearka looked at her. Tears were beginning to build up in both their eyes now. "I'm Dearka. The same guy I've always been the whole time. I was afraid of my feelings before, you know that. I was cold and distant at first because I wanted to push you away. But I don't want that anymore Miriallia. Please just forget this stupid thing" He said sadly. He put his hands on the voucher ready to rip it when Mir gently grabbed his hands to stop him.

"I can't. The war has been over for more than a year. Why are you still on Earth. Don't you want to see your family again?"

"Not if it means leaving you. I'd stay on earth for the rest of my life if it meant I could wake up next to you everyday."

"It won't last forever"

"Us?"

"This peace… I'm sure you felt it too. The tensions between our people is growing again, we've even seen it almost crumble in front of us. This era of peace is coming to an end. When it does where do you see yourself? Fighting for Orb? For ZAFT? Or still running around the world hiding from it all?"

"I-I don't know"

"I told you once that you can't escape forever. Someday whatever you are running from will catch up with you"

"What I was running away from that day already caught up with me. I was running away from the feelings I felt for _you_! But I stopped running from that long ago." He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

She leaned her head against his chest. She took a deep breath. She loved the way he smelled. It was so comforting. "But you're still running. Until you return to the PLANTs you'll always be running. You and I are still running… from our past. I haven't spoken to Sai, Kuzzy or Kira since the war ended. And what about you? Your friends? Your family?" She pulled away and looked him in the eyes, his beautiful soulful amethyst eyes. "I need you to go. Stop running Dearka"

"I'm not"

"Then what was Derrick? Lie to yourself all you want but at least be honest with me. Give me one reason why you should stay. Why you should pick me over your homeland."

He knew why. He knew exactly the words he wanted to say, the words she had accidentally said to him long ago… but he wasn't ready. Even with his back against the wall he still couldn't say it. His heart begged him to, but his mind wouldn't let him. "So this is it… it's over."

Miriallia felt sick to her stomach. It was over. After nearly a year it was actually over. "Yes" she said her voice shaking. Almost like the sky knew their pain it began to rain. Not a soft mist but a heavy depressing rain. Dearka leaned his head down and desperately, deeply kissed her. Just one last kiss. Just one last time he needed to feel her lips against his. He pulled away and looked at her. Tears were streaming down her face mixed with the rain drenching her whole body. He felt like any minute the same thing would happen to him. He kissed her on the forehead, turned and started to walk away without saying a word.

Miriallia watched as he walked away. He was leaving her life. Maybe it was temporary or maybe it would be forever. She couldn't help but hope someday maybe there would a time a place for them to be together. But that place didn't exist right now. Coordinators and naturals could never be together in the open, not even in Orb. She couldn't help but be afraid. There was always a chance this was the last time she would ever see him. That her last memory of Dearka Elsman would be breaking up with him in the most romantic city in the world.

She arrived in Orb a half a day later. Out of pure irony it was raining here too. She couldn't seem to escape the memories of it. A taxi soon dropped her off at her family home. The place she hadn't seen in a year. She stood on the front step with her bag as the rain continued to fall down on her. She hesitated at first before ringing the doorbell. She waited until finally she could hear footsteps inside and someone opening the door.

"Miriallia!" Her mother said with tears of happiness forming at the corners of her eyes. "Come… come in." She said quickly opening the door wide so she could enter.

"Thanks mom" She said as she walked in. She looked around the house. Nothing had changed. Everything was just as it was when she left, even the smell of her mother's cooking filled the small home. It brought her a great amount of comfort, something she really needed in this moment.

"You're soaked sweetie." She said before looking back out the door. "Where's your friend? I thought Derrick was coming home with you?" She asked. She could see Miriallia was upset, but instead of crying she just smiled.

"It's a long story mom. One I intend to tell you but do you mind if I get changed first?" She asked tucking her wet hair behind her ear.

"Of course" Her mother replied kissing her on the forehead. "Take your time. I'll make you some tea to help warm you up"

"Thanks mom"

Miriallia walked up to her room. She entered and started to removed her sopping wet clothes. She went into her bathroom and grabbed a towel to dry herself off. Wrapping it around herself she headed to her closet to pull out some dry clothes. Instead she found herself getting distracted by the box inside. It was the box that contained everything that reminded her of Tolle. She sat down beside it and opened it. She picked up one of the pictures inside and looked at it. Much to her surprise she felt a smile cross her lips. Turned out Dearka was right all along… someday the things that reminded her of Tolle wouldn't make her sad anymore. Instead she was happy to have memories of him flood in her head.

She once again had lost love. But she managed to move on from the loss of another. She was finally ready to celebrate the life Tolle lived, not focus on the day he died. And that was all because of Dearka Elsman. She would never forget that.

She traced her finger around Tolle's face. She was finally accepting he was gone. It was like a weight being lifted off her shoulders. She was new girl. The Miriallia she was back in Heliopolis was gone forever. She was stronger and filled with more life experiences than ever before. She felt like nothing could stop her. She had a new lease on life and she didn't want this assignment to be her last. She was going to continue being a war photographer, even if it meant being her own protector.

She picked up her phone and dialed. "Frederic… It's Miriallia Haww. I've thought about it, I'll do it. I'll take the position."

" _That's fantastic Miss Haww! I'll inform Mr Richard immediately. Au revoir"_

"Goodbye"

She didn't know what the future held for her. The future was uncertain. She had no idea how right she was of the tensions that were growing around the world. A war was only months away. Chaos was coming and there was nothing they could do to stop it. But the thing she didn't know most of all about was if she would ever see the man of her dreams again. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing she ever did but she needed to do it. There was no future for them if he was hiding from who he was. She needed to know he would chose her over everything else. Even if he said it now she couldn't believe him, not when he had forgotten all he was leaving behind.

She stood up from her spot on the floor and and walked over to look out her window. Up at the hourglasses in the sky. For the first time since she was little she started to wish that a knight in shining armour would someday find her once again.

 **END**


End file.
